Friday, December 23, 2016

Jesus Lives – Inquiring Minds Want to Know

Jesus Lives – Inquiring Minds Want to Know

Cast:  An older husband and wife playing a long-married couple.
Set:  Any set with a chair center stage for the husband to read his paper.  The wife may be on or off stage with her replies.  Husband is a little on the dry side.  Wife has temperament of a woman who has put up with this for years.

[Lights up or fade in.]

[Husband reading paper.]  Hey.  I’m not in here again.
Why must you always read the obituaries first?
Because if I’m not in there, then I can read the rest of my paper.
Okay wise guy.  Enjoy your paper.
This is interesting.
What?  Am I in the obituary?
No, but that guy that was roaming the countryside for the past couple years is.
Johnny the Baptizer?
No.  That’s old news. Though the head on the platter thing kept him in the headlines and obits for a few days.  And the political cartoons were…
Enough.  Who died?
Jesus of Nazareth.
You don’t say.
I do say, well the paper says anyway.  Get this—while there were numerous witnesses to his brutal execution at the hands of the Romans; the body cannot currently be located.
How do you lose a body?
The obit says see page 1.
[Turning pages.]
Just a minute.  [Stops to pull out an ad.]  Hey!  Do you want this buy one get one free ad?
For what?
Pork loin.
You are hilarious.  Put those Pagan Mart ads on the floor.  They are not even making it to the recycle bin. 
Just trying to save a little by watching the ads.
Why don’t we take out a membership in the Sabbath Day Workout Club while we are at it?
Here’s the article.  Early Sunday morning there was quite the buzz around one of the top of the line tombs that Joseph of Arimathea had just taken off the market.  Apparently, Joseph had donated the tomb to place Jesus in before the sun went down on Friday.
That was considerate of him.
But now they are saying that Jesus was gone early Sunday morning.  The official line is that his disciples took him.
Why would anyone take a body that’s already in the grave?
The Romans—again this is the party line—said that his disciples said that he would rise from the dead and they were trying to make it look like that’s what happened.
He did say that.  I remember the Teachers of the law getting in a big hubbub over it.  It was almost as controversial as when he healed that guy on the Sabbath.
But the reports from the scene before the Roman propaganda machine got hold of it have soldiers with reports of angels and earthquakes and bright lights.  Once Pilate’s peons got wind of this, they had these guys spouting the party line.
[In a romantic voice.]  I did feel the earth move last night, dear.
Yeah and we had an earth quake a couple days ago right before we had midnight madness around noon.  Crazy things happening these days that’s for sure.
I wonder what they are going to do about the curtain in the temple.
What? [Turning pages again.]
Remember, during Friday’s quake the curtain of the temple was torn.
Whoa!  That’s timely.  You should read the editorial It says that the tearing of the curtain symbolizes all that separates man from God being removed by the blood of Jesus.
I’m glad the editorial page has something other than election rants.
This Jesus is getting all sorts of coverage in today’s paper.  He should trademark some tee-shirts or something.
What’s Dear Gabby got to say?
Some dude named Thomas writing in that his buds are claiming Jesus appeared to them while he was out running errands.  Says he won’t believe it unless he sees the holes in his hands.
What does she tell him to do?
She says just hang with your friends.  If Jesus is alive, he will pop in again.
She always has the best answers.
Here’s what I have been looking for.
Saul of Tarsus is holding a seminar next week.
On what?
It’s called The Law and Nothing but the Law.  This guy is good.  He knows the ins and outs of the Law of Moses.
Do you think he really knows what God wants just because he knows the law inside and out?
What more could God want?
Maybe mercy instead of sacrifice.  Maybe repentance.  Maybe that we love each other.
Yeah sure.  Those are good too.  Hey you know what all this means?
What?  That our sins are forgiven and we can live forever because of Jesus?
There’s that, but what I was thinking is that Joseph of Arimathea can put his tomb back on the market.
There is no accounting for taste with you.
I was just saying…

[Lights down or fade out.]

The end.

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