Wednesday, December 19, 2018

New Year's Eve Mouse

New Year’s Eve Mouse 2018
John 10:10, John 13:34-35

Cast:  1 person—adult or youth—who does not mind scurrying around on the stage.
Equipment:  Wireless microphone.  Costume optional. 

Church mouse enters—makes a bold entrance into the sanctuary—and is very much aware and expecting to see that there are people in the pews.  The mouse has something to say to those present and dives right into the monologue.


Hey guys!  I was hoping you would be here.  I know, I know, I’ve been out for a while, so I was hoping I would have a chance to explain.

[Wiping forehead]  Whew!  Fifteen bowl games in ten days.  That was some living, let me tell you!
Oh, I didn’t go to the games or even watch them, but I sure cleaned up on some pretzels, nachos, pizza, and chips and dip.  I didn’t know there was so much variety, but you find you a house or two with a big screen and snacks go a flying with just about every touchdown.

People yell “Boomer” and before someone says “Sooner” there’s a little smokie or a pig in a blanket hitting the floor.

Top that off with some Christmas parties.  Yeah, I know I should have been here, but meatballs and cheese balls and popcorn balls were a callin’.  Deck the halls with balls of popcorn, fa la la la la, you get the idea.

Eat, drink, and be merry for tomorrow you may die.  Live it up, that’s what I say.  I never met a cheeseball I didn’t like.

I am already looking for a New Year’s Eve party with lots of drinking and by that, I mean lots of spilled snacks.  People stumbling all over the place.  I don’t even have to worry about being seen.  Having someone fall on me is another story but I can start eating as soon as someone says “Cheers.”
That’s the life.  Sometimes it’s good just to make everything all about me.  That’s some living.

[Long pause.  Thinker’s pose]

Well except for this empty feeling inside of me.  You would think with all that I have been eating that I would be full, very full.  But I’m not.  Something feels empty inside.

I think that I know, but I don’t really want to admit it, or maybe I do.  Maybe that’s why I’m here today.

For the past couple weeks or so, I haven’t done anything for anyone else.  It’s all been about me.  It seemed like fun at the time, but I just don’t feel full.

I have heard you guys talk about Jesus wanting us to have life and live it to the full.  He didn’t say eat it until you’re full.  I think I need to get back to this love one another stuff.

I think I had better get back to regarding others more highly than myself.

I think that I am starving to help somebody.  Is that a metaphor or just creative syntax?  Whatever it is, it’s how I feel.

I need to love my neighbors more than I need to stuff my face, and I’ve had some good stuffing over the past few weeks.  I just keep rambling on and on, and what I need to do is put some of these thoughts into action.

So, I wrap up here by saying:

Merry Christmas!
Happy New Year!

Oh, oh, oh, I don’t want to forget this one:  LOVE ONE ANOTHER.  Love one another.  That’s the ticket right there.  Love one another.

Exit.


The end.

Wednesday, December 5, 2018

Grumpiest Old Men - The Wise Men

Grumpiest Old Men
The Wise Men

Cast:  2 older men. These are longtime friends with much dryness to their banter.  Both are in robes (any sort).

Set:  Anywhere a bench or 2 chairs may be set as a park bench.  Action proceeds in dialogue.  Script or notes may be hidden in props (newspaper) if used.  One friend is already center stage with lights down.  Second friend enters as lights come up.

Lights up.


Putz
Bonehead
Hey!  What happened to Merry Christmas?
Merry Christmas, Bonehead.
Happy Holy Days, Putz.
Really, I’m just not in the ‘Tis the Season mood yet.
I get it.  Stress, gift lists, one gathering after another.
No. 
What?
I got a part in a Christmas play.
What?  The Grinch?
Funny.  I have been cast as a wise man.
Oh, it’s a comedy?
Oh, you’re funny.
You’re the one in the comedy.  I guess that explains the getup.
It’s a wardrobe not a getup.
What’s that on your backside?
[Stands up and looks]  What?
See, I made you get up.
You’re not funny.
A second ago you said that I was.
Well fine.  By the way, what’s with your getup?
I have a role in a Christmas play as well.
Really?
Yes, I’m a Maji.
Do you know what a Maji is?
Somebody like Obe Wan Kinobe or a big shot of sorts.  But one that doesn’t have to wear a suit and tie.
You’re a wise man.
Thank you.  That probably took a lot to admit.
No Bonehead!  You are a wise man in the play just like me.
I was counting on getting a lightsaber.
You’re probably getting Myrrh.
Why do you say that?
Because they are giving me the Frankincense and they are not trusting either one of us with the gold.
Do you think we are in the same Christmas play?
When is the play?
The Christmas story is tonight but the part with the Wise Men takes place later.
When did they tell you to show up for your part?
In about 2 years.
We are in the same play.
Do you think they are trying to tell us something?
Yes, We should audition for the Grinch in the other Christmas play.
Grinch wan Kenobi.  I might still get a lightsaber.
What are we going to do to get in the Christmas spirit?
How about we do the shortest Christmas play ever?
I don’t know about that.
Yes, you do.  Just follow my lead.
My insurance doesn’t cover that.
Come on.  Join in.
Both:  The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the one and only Son, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth.

Merry Christmas, Putz.
Happy Holy Days, Bonehead.

Exit

The end.