Sunday, May 14, 2017

Lickety Split

Lickety Split

Psalm 90
2 Peter 3:8

Cast:  Two people, young women would be best.  The first character (P1) has a smart phone and is skilled at using it.

Set:  Any.  The action proceeds with dialogue and gesturing.

Scene begins with lights down and the first character (P1) talking on her phone as her friend approaches from stage right.

P1:  [Talking to phone.] Hold on just a second. [Puts phone on hold and waves to friend approaching.]  It’s good to see you.
P2:  [Coming center stage.]  It is good to see you too.
P1:  I have some stuff we need to talk about.  Give me just a minute. [Holds up hand to friend and returns to phone conversation.]  Hey I’ll call you back in a minute.  Cheers.
P2:  So what’s on you mind?
P1:  Well, it’s this whole God answers prayers business.  [Grabs phone again and holds up one finger to friend signaling she will just be 1 minute.  Talks into phone.]  Hey!  What’s cooking?  I’m a little busy right now.  Can I call you back? [Pause for unheard reply.]  Yes, right away.  I will call you back in a New York Minute. [Back to friend.]  Now where were we?
P2:  Something about God answering prayers?
P1:  Yeah, I’m not so sure about that.  I pray and I wait and wait and sometimes wait a little longer.
P2:  Sometimes we have to wait.
P1:  Yeah, but it’s like God just doesn’t want… [Looks at phone again and then back at friend.]  Hold that thought.  Oops, it’s my thought.  Give me a minute.  That’s what I should have said. 
P2:  Sure.  I’m right here.
P1: [To phone.]  Hey guy, I haven’t heard from you in a fortnight.  [Pause for unheard response.]  You’re right, it’s only been a couple of weeks.  Can you call me back?  No I’m not putting you off.  I’ll call you back in half a sec, how’s that?
P2:  I hope you have a lot of minutes on your phone.
P1:  Unlimited plan.  It took me about 10 seconds to know which plan was right for me.  Unnnnnnlimited!
P2:  That’s cool.  You were talking about God and prayer?
P1:  Yeah, what’s up with this prayer stuff.  It’s like he never gets back to me.
P2:  Really?
P1:   Yeah, it’s [Answers phone again.]  Hello? [Hangs up.]   Ooh that was different.
P2:  Who was that?
P1:  Don’t know.  It was nobody from my contacts that’s for sure.  Somebody named Eye-um.  Must be some Irish guy, but I don’t know any Irish guys.
P2:  I see.  So you don’t think that God answers your prayers?
P1:  I don’t know.  I don’t have time to wait and find out.  I need answers now.  This is the 21st Century you know.
P2:  I do know.  Let me tell you something about God’s time.
P1:  [Looking at phone.]  It’s that same caller, Eye-um.  I’m going to block him.
P2:  [Reaching to stop friend from doing anything else on the phone.]  Here’s something you need to know.  God’s time is not our time.
P1:  So what, he’s on Pacific time or Eastern Daylight Time or…   I know, he’s living on Tulsa Time, right?
P2:  Actually, God works outside the boundaries of what you and I know as time.  A day to him could be a thousand or six thousand years to us, well, according to the psalmist.
P1:  How am I supposed to know when it’s appropriate to contact him.
P2:  Oh, God is the original 24-7-365 entity.  He is always there.
P1:  But when will I get my answers.  I need answers.
P2:  You will get them in God’s time.
P1:  I want them in my time!
P2:  I hear you.  Waiting patiently upon the Lord is hard sometimes, but you will be blessed to wait.
P1:  That doesn’t seem right.  It’s like God’s putting me on hold.  I need answers when I need answers.
P2:  What was that you said a minute ago?  Oh yeah, I’ll get back with you in a second, or was it a minute, or was it half a second, or was it in a New York Minute?
P1:  Hey!  Don’t use my words against me!
P2:  I’m not using them against you, but hopefully I can use them to open your eyes.  And there was my favorite, Lickety Split.  Just how long is that, exactly?
P1:  I don’t know.  It’s something that my parents used to say and I just picked it up.
P2:  Do you think that the person that you told you would get back to in a second or half a sec or a New York Minute is waiting patiently for you to call them.
P1:  Sure, why wouldn’t they?  [Looks directly at audience with a look of enlightenment.]  Oh, oh my, oh I had better call them all right now, all at once.
P2:  Let’s finish our conversation first.  It will be fine.  The Bible says that God is not slow as we calibrate speed.  He will send Jesus back when the time is right.  He wants to give everyone a chance to turn away from the world and turn back to him.
P1:  He’s not in a hurry but he is not slow.  Is that what you are saying?
P2:  That’s exactly what I am saying.  I am also saying that he will answer your prayers in his time.  When you talk to the God of all creation—and by creation, I am including this thing we call time—we are always best to do things on his time.  On his time…
P1:  OK, I hear you.  I don’t want to hear you, but I get what you are saying.  You do know that patience does not come easy for me?
P2:  [Smiling.]  You don’t say?
P1:  I do say… Oh you are just teasing me again.  Which call should I return first.
P2:  How about that Irish guy?
P1:  What?  Are you crazy.  I don’t know him.
P2:  Spell out to me what the caller ID read.
P1:  Like I said Eye-um.  I space A M.  Like I said, Eye Am.
P2:  That seems like a call that you should have taken.  Sometimes we pray and then forget to listen for the answer.  Sometimes we just need to be still and let God do all of the talking.
P1:  But it’s like totally weird calling someone back that I don’t know.
P2:  Fair enough, but if he calls again, see what he has to say.
P1:  Will you be available if I need to talk?
P2:  Of course, you just call me and I will be here lickety split!

Lights down.

The end.

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