Saturday, May 13, 2017
Cast: Two people, one of whom is a woman and the other can be male or female but dressed as a snake. A stuffed animal snake with voice over would also suffice. The snake could be maneuvered by fishing line on a pole. The voice over character could be visible or hidden. The snake must crawl on the ground. His days of walking ended in the Garden of Eden.
Set: Any set. A full-length mirror or prop to represent a mirror is needed. Eve will need one or two extra dresses. Background could include vegetation, but not a paradise as in the Garden of Eden. This scene takes place after the couple was kicked out of paradise.
Lights up. Eve is centerstage, standing in front of a mirror trying on new dresses. After a few seconds the serpent approaches.
Serpent: Had any good apples lately?
Eve: Hey, you bum! Ever since I ate that apple, my husband has had to work for a living.
Serpent: For food?
Eve: Yes, and buying me clothes.
Serpent: Doesn’t he need clothes too?
Eve: He wears the same thing day after day after day after… Hey, you no good, slimy, crafty, scaly thing that made me eat that apple…
Serpent: Who decided to eat it?
Eve: Don’t even go there. You know that you wanted me to eat it.
Serpent: What difference does that make? It was always your decision.
Eve: Yeah, OK, I see how you roll.
Serpent: Really now, if all of your friends decided to go jump off a cliff would you go with them?
Eve: What are friends and what’s a cliff?
Serpent: Point taken. Besides, I’m not here to drag up the past. I’m excited about the future.
Eve: Really? What mischief do you have in store for us this time?
Serpent: It’s not my mischief, it’s yours.
Eve: I didn’t even know what mischief was until you slithered in.
Serpent: Actually the first time that we met I was walking.
Eve: Yeah, I remember. How’s that working out for you now?
Serpent: Let’s not pick at each other. I won’t bite at you and you won’t try to crush my head, just this time. OK?
Eve: OK, unless you try something slimy again.
Serpent: OK, but I am a serpent, so I’ll have to make this short time of good behavior brief.
Eve: So what about the future?
Serpent: Centuries into the future, there will be these people who think themselves to be very important. They will be called Pharisees.
Eve: You call this breaking news? I don’t have much of a concept of people so why should I care what they call themselves?
Serpent: You know that sickness you had the last couple of mornings?
Eve: Yes. What about it?
Serpent: You are soon going to understand the concept of people—as in more than the two of you—soon enough.
Serpent: Back to the Pharisees. I just wanted to congratulate you on being the father, err mother of the Pharisees.
Eve: Snake, you are not making any sense; and the last time that I thought you were making sense, it cost me paradise.
Serpent: Pharisees just add little things to what God says so as to make everything much clearer.
Eve: And your point?
Serpent: The problem is that instead of making what God said better, they put burdens on the backs of men and women and then wouldn’t do anything to help them.
Eve: OK, I’m not liking these people that are not even born yet.
Serpent: Oh, you can’t dislike them. You are one of them.
Eve: Bite you forked little tongue! I certainly am not!
Serpent: What did God say about the fruit of the tree of good and evil?
Eve: That we should not eat it or even touch it.
Serpent: Are you sure? You were still just a rib back then.
Eve: And you were there?
Serpent: Yes, I was nearby listening in like a fly on the wall.
Eve: More like a snake in the grass.
Serpent: Touché. Like a snake in the grass, then. In any case, all that God told Adam was not to eat of the tree. He never put touching off limits.
Eve: Yes, but touching leads to eating…
Serpent: So you did add to what God said?
Eve: I had to. That man hardly says anything. We needed some guidelines. He put the nix on fencing off the tree and digging a moat around it. Finally, he conceded one amendment to the divine directive and that’s how we got to we shouldn’t even touch it.
Serpent: How did that work out for you?
Eve [Very Angry]: You had better slither away now before I crush your head.
Serpent: Such a fine Pharisee. I will pick up a couple Phylacteries for you and your husband at Slither Mart. I can get 25% off if I buy it on the Sabbath.
Eve: Go! Now!
Serpent departs stage right talking to himself and laughing.
Serpent: Pharisee, Pharisee, Pharisee…
Eve looks around to make sure the serpent is actually gone, then looks stage left and calls out to Adam.
Eve: Adam! That no good snake called us Pharisees, and…
Eve rubs her belly.
Eve: And I’ve got news!