Wednesday, November 30, 2016

Christmas Mouse

Christmas Mouse

Cast:  1 person—adult or youth—who does not mind scurrying around on the stage.
Equipment:  Wireless microphone.  Costume optional (perhaps padded)

Church Mouse waddles to center stage, obviously stuffed from over eating.  Once on stage, looks carefully left and right before speaking.

Whew!  No cats in sight.  There is no way I could out run even an old decrepit cat in my state.  Do you know how many crumbs fall on the floor between Thanksgiving and Christmas?

Oh, Hello, sorry, I thought I was just talking to myself.  Yes, it’s me your favorite church mouse again back just in time for Christmas.

[Holds stuffed mid-section].    Twelve days of Christmas—are you kidding me?  It is a month-long Christmas feast for me. 

[Looks left and right again searching for cats.  Resumes speaking when all appears to be clear].

Here’s the thing.  While I am chowing down like no other time of the year, these people are stressing out like never before.  What should I get this person or that person?  We have sooooo gone over our Christmas budget.

What do we get the kids?  Is it Xbox or Wii or PlayStation 2017?  Really?  These things stress people out?

If you want to know what stresses me out as far as Christmas presents go, well I will tell you:  BB guns!  

It is bad enough that I have to be on the lookout for cats.  The last thing I need is your 9-year old thinking he is on a big game hunt and he has a Mouse Tag in his pocket just waiting to put it on me.

BB guns!  You want real stress then try seeing things from my perspective.

[Reaches into pocket and pulls out a piece of candy cane].

Now here’s a treat.  This time of year everyone I know calls me peppermint breath.  I think that it’s a compliment.  These things always shatter when you break them.  That means more for me on the floor.  I have a three-month supply stored up.  My breath will be pepper-minty fresh well into the new year.

And what is this squabbling over Merry Christmas and Happy Holy Days?  I don’t get it.  People should be full of Joy and they find all sorts of things to argue about.  How can you sing [singing]  Joy to the World and argue at the same time?  Multitasking?  No, I don’t think so.  If you are going to sing let earth receive her King, then you think joy would settle every argument.

People seem to miss the value of joy.  They can sing it but find it so hard to live it.
[Picks up a piece of Christmas wrapping paper]

As for me and my house, I love Christmas wrapping paper.  Some of that shiny stuff is just like a space blanket.  The rest makes wonderful batting for my bed.  In any case, I sleep better than your average babe in a manger.  You can [singing again] Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow all you want because I am going to be warm and colorful at the same time.

What’s that you say?

Oh, what happened here earlier?  People gathered and sang and talked about all of the things that they got for Christmas.  And that guy who does most of the talking tried to explain that Jesus is the best gift ever. 

Apparently, Jesus doesn’t come with wrapping paper but is even better than an I-Phone 9 or 10 or….  I didn’t quite get all of that but people were able to let go of their stress for a moment and enjoy a little joy while they sang.    I like being included in the church songs at this time of year.  You know, [singing] Let heaven and nature sing, let heaven and nature sing, [big smile for audience and changes lyrics]  And please no BB guns, and please no BB guns, and please and please no BB guns…

[Walking off stage still singing, then turning back for a moment].       

  Merry Christmas!

No comments:

Post a Comment