Seek Ye First

Seek Ye First

Lady sitting in front church pew or choir.  Cell phone rings and she makes a show of being embarrassed and looking for a place to discreetly take the call without leaving.  She moves a few steps away from where she was seated (and eventually works her way to center stage).

Hello.

Pause

Well it’s not exactly a good time, but since everyone is already looking at me, just try to make it short.

Pause

I’m in church if you must know.

Pause (Growing oblivious to the fact the service has completely stopped while she takes this call).

Yes, church, that’s right.  It’s not like I actually want to be here but you’ve got to go, you know?

Pause

You are what?  Oh I so wish I was there right now.

Pause

You got what?  You are so bad.  Just go on and keep making me jealous.  I’ve got to have one of those!

Pause.

I was too serious!  Stop telling me how much fun you are having.  I’ve got to get out of here. 

Pause.

What do you mean why am I here in the first place?  It’s church.  You have to try to work a little God in your life every now and then.  Had I known what I was missing, I would have worked God in next Sunday.

Pause (Looks at audience and realizes that everyone is looking at her)

To all gathered:  Sorry, I’ll wrap this up.  Sorry.  But just so you know, as far as me and my household,  God is number 1 (holds up 2 fingers) in my life, and all of this other stuff (points to phone) is number 2 (holds up 1 finger).  Repeat this sequence.

(Resumes talking on phone):  Oh I so wish I was there with you.  It seems like I am missing out on all the good stuff.  Gotta go.

(Returns to seat trying to look like nothing happened).

Liturgist reads scripture about seeking God’s kingdom and righteousness first.

Matthew 6:25-34 (or sections hereof) 

The end.