Thanksgiving Mouse 2018

Thanksgiving Mouse 2018

Psalm 100

Cast:  1 person—adult or youth—who does not mind scurrying around on the stage.

Equipment:  Wireless microphone.  Costume optional. 

Church mouse enters the sanctuary oblivious to the fact there are people in the pews.  The mouse is skipping and proclaiming Psalm 100 in its own personal worship service.

Shout for joy to the Lord, all the earth.

Worship the Lord with gladness; come before him with joyful songs.

Know that the Lord is God.  It is he who….  [Jumps back, noticing congregation for the first time]

WHOA!  It’s you people again.  I should know by now that you guys are going to be here Sunday mornings.

But, as you are here and I’m on a roll, listen closely.

It is he who made us and we are his; we are his people, the sheep of his pasture.

Man, doesn’t that sound cool.  We belong to God.  We are really his.  [Raises arms palms up to emphasize the question to follow]  How can you just sit there?

We should be shouting for joy to the Lord!

[Raising hands to the sky and letting lose with joy]

Shout for joy to the Lord, all the earth.

[Back to conversational tone]

Hey!  I know every year at this time I drag myself in here because I am stuffed from Halloween candy and can’t talk about anything but turkey sandwiches and dessert crumbs galore under every table.  Make no mistake, I’m still loving the holiday dining fare around here.

[Puts index finger to lips as if to whisper]

But I want to let you in on a little secret.  Thanksgiving isn’t really about food and football.  It’s about, now this is going to be a big concept for you, but if you church mouse can handle it, so can you…

Thanksgiving is about GIVING THANKS! Catch this part.

Enter his gates with thanksgiving and his courts with praise; give thanks to him and praise his name.

C’mon guys.  When you are here you should be so full of thanksgiving it comes out of you pores. There’s a thought.  So thankful that you sweat thanksgiving.

What else is there to say?

[Raising index finger as if to note a point to follow]

How about:

For the Lord is good and his love endures forever; his faithfulness continues through all generations.

That’s some good stuff.  It’s a psalm worth remembering.  You know, most of the time we spend together, I do all of the talking.  How about we say Psalm 100 together?  Let’s give this a try.

Psalm 100

Shout for joy to the Lord, all the earth.

  Worship the Lord with gladness;

    come before him with joyful songs.

 Know that the Lord is God.

    It is he who made us, and we are his;

    we are his people, the sheep of his pasture.

 Enter his gates with thanksgiving

    and his courts with praise;

    give thanks to him and praise his name.

 For the Lord is good and his love endures forever;

    his faithfulness continues through all generations.

Wow!  I am so glad, so full of joy, and so thankful that I am your church mouse.  I am truly blessed.  You guys have a great Thanksgiving.

Exit.

The end.

Independence Day Mouse 2018

Independence Day Mouse

Proverbs 11:25-26, Luke 12:48, 2 Corinthians 9:8-11

This is a continuation of the Church Mouse monologues.  The mouse may be in costume or sport ears to note its rodent status.  No props are needed.  Some luggage adds to this monologue.

Mouse barges in with much luggage—pull behinds and carry-ons.

Hey Guys!   I’m baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack!

Did you think that church cat got me?  No chance.

I couldn’t get in because you guys changed the locks on all the doors. [Long pause.]   Just kidding.  Locked doors never stopped me before and sure are not stopping me now.

Here’s the deal.  I went out to the airstrip, caught me a ride on an airplane, then got on another plane, and then—well you get the picture—I was all over the place.

I saw me some sights, ate me some foreign food, and got a whole new perspective on a lot of things.

Do you know that I ate better as a church mouse than some people eat in parts of the world?  That’s just Crazy.

Do you know that I live better here in America than most people in Bangladesh, Ghana, and even a lot of those countries that end in Stan? 

Do you know that in some places, people can’t just walk into a church without fear of being detained or jailed or sometimes killed?  That’s just hard to comprehend.

Do you know that not everybody in the world has 3 or 4 Bibles each?  Did you know that the people who have a Bible also have a hunger to read it?  I’m not picking on your guys, but I have seen a lot of dust on a lot of Bibles in this town.

Did you know that some people in the world don’t like you because you are Americans and others would give all they have to be an American?  One thing that I can say is that so many people in the world are interested on what’s happening in America.

I even stopped in a couple of war zones.  You know what the craziest thing was there?  Soldiers and Marines sharing their rations with kids.  That’s just what they do.  Hey, I learned something new there.  I learned why they call the Meal Ready to Eat—yes, the MRE—3 lies in 1.  It’s not a meal.  It’s not ready for anything.  And it’s not really edible by human standards.

But it’s not that bad.  The MRE peanut butter and cheese both trade well among the Marines. I liked them both.

Wow!  What a trip.  I didn’t bring back any souvenirs, but I brought something even better.  I brought wisdom.  Here it is.

We are blessed to live in this nation.

We are blessed to know liberty like no other place on earth.

We are blessed to live in this part of the greatest nation on earth, a place where we can still proclaim that Jesus is Lord!

We are so blessed that we can be a blessing to others.

I think that for all of my travels and everything that I have seen, that one thing really hits home.  God has blessed me so much to be your church mouse, and I want to bless others.

[Starts to walk off the stage…]

I do have one complaint.  It’s not really that big, well, it is to me.  Do you know that when you stowaway on an airplane, you don’t earn miles for that?

When you are a mouse, it doesn’t really matter what’s in your wallet.

It is almost time for you guys to celebrate that 4^th of July thing again.  This year, remember that you are blessed to be a blessing!  You—we—have so much and so much is expected from us.

-          Exit

Pentecost Mouse

Pentecost Mouse

Acts 1-2, John 14:18

This is a continuation of the Church Mouse Monologues.  The mouse may be in costume or sport ears to note its rodent status.  No props are needed.

Theme to Rocky playing in the background as mouse enters with a bounce in her step.  Music stops when mouse reaches center stage.

[Talking excitedly to self]  I am so ready to take on the world!  No, the kids didn’t spill their energy drinks again.  That was a buzz for sure, but this is something different.  I can just feel it.

It is as if the Spirit of God is alive in this place.  I feel like I could do anything.  Well, maybe not spelling and grammar, but you know…

[Looking around]  It’s like I’m really alive.  There’s life and there’s being alive, and I feel alive.

[Realizes that people are present]  Whoa!  You people again.  I should be used to this by now.  After, all I am the church mouse and you are the church people.

OK.  Let me just make a public service announcement on behalf of the resident rodent.  That would be me if you’re not keeping up.

ON BEHALF OF THE FOUR-LEGGED COMMUNITY, THANK YOU FOR NOT USING TRAPS AND POISON IN THIS FACILITY.  ALSO, THANK YOU FOR NOT VACUUMING THE CORNERS AFTER FELLOWSHIP MEALS AS PER THE INSTRUCTIONS IN LEVITICUS, AMENDED FOR RODENTS. 

That ends my statement, but I am so glad you are here.  I want to talk about this Spirit of God business and you are just the people I need.

So what is it like to have the Spirit of God himself living inside of you?  I’m a mouse and I can feel God’s Spirit all over this place, but what is it like to have God’s own Spirit inside of you?

Don’t look at me like that!  You have thought about this, haven’t you?  Haven’t you?

I’ve been roaming under your pews enough to pick up a few things.  Jesus told his disciples that he would not orphan them, but the Spirit of God would come and be with them.

The Day of Pentecost was about the Holy Spirit coming upon those 12 disciples—bet you didn’t think that I knew that Matthias had already been chosen to replace Judas by this time, did you?  You don’t always see me but I’m here listening just about every Sunday, and I never miss a fellowship meal or a baby shower.

Pentecost is about the church launching into the world with good news and equipped by the Holy Spirit to help common people do uncommon things.

You get to bring news of life and life eternal to people and God’s Spirit is with you every step of the way.  You get to tell people how much God loves them and the Spirit of God is with you the whole time.

I don’t know how you do it, just sitting there so calmly in your pews.  The preacher hasn’t even tried to put you to sleep with his sermon yet. 

Please tell me that you are not people that lean on their own understanding.  I thought I knew you better than that.   Trust in the Lord and let his Spirit take the lead.  Trust me!  I am your church mouse!

Hey!  Do this for me.  When you sing the first song, let the Spirit take charge of your joyful sound and see what happens.  Surrender completely to God’s Spirit and see what happens!

God’s Spirit lives inside of you.  [Super exaggerated gestures]  How can you not be pumped about that? 

Gotta go.  The kids had doughnuts today and there is a sugar-fest waiting for me, but the Holy Spirit is waiting on you to let him take the lead in your life.

Exists with a spring in her step to the Theme to Rocky playing.  Music stops upon exit.

The end.

When did Jesus institute Ash Wednesday?

Ash Wednesday

This short skit is obviously designed to be done on Ash Wednesday or in preparation for an Ash Wednesday service.  It requires only 2 people for a short, crisp conversation.

Any stage, set, classroom, or fellowship hall will suffice.  The action is in the question and answer conversation.

Hey, when did Jesus institute Ash Wednesday?

He didn’t.  It came into practice over a millennium after Jesus ascended into heaven.

So, Jesus didn’t do this or even start it.  It must be a bad thing.  Maybe we shouldn’t do it.

He didn’t drive to worship services either. 
Jesus took an Uber?
No.  He walked.  Maybe you should start walking.

I don’t see anything wrong with driving to church.  I am more likely to go if I drive, especially on a cold or rainy day.

And you might be more likely to truly celebrate Easter—Resurrection Sunday—if you take these 40 days of Lent that begin on Ash Wednesday and give up something that will liberate someone else from their chains—whatever those may be.

So, it’s not just an empty ritual?

It is as empty or fulfilling as you make it.  God speaking through the prophet Isaiah chastised his people for going through the motions while fasting.

You mean like saying you love God but living like everyone else in the world?

Exactly.

Sometimes, we Christians need reminders not to just blend into the world.

Yes, we do.

Something visible and unique like a personal billboard.

If you say so.

I’m just trying to apply some modern thinking to help me remember that I should prepare to celebrate Easter.  Just some little reminder to get me back on track.

How about some ashes on your head?

That could itch.

How about just on your forehead?

That could work.

Stick around.  That’s just what we have in store for you!

The end.

Grumpiest Old Men

Grumpiest Old Men

Acts 4:36, 1 Thessalonians 5:11

Cast:  2 older men. These are long time friends with much dryness to their banter.

Set:  Anywhere a bench or 2 chairs may be set as a park bench.  Action proceeds in dialogue.  Script or notes may be hidden in props (newspaper) if used.  One friend is already center stage with lights down.  Second friend enters as lights come up.

Lights up.

First old man walks up to bench and sees friend already seated.

Putz.

Bonehead.

[Takes other seat available].  Whatever.

Why do you have to be that way?

Me?

Yes you.  Do you have a thorn in your shoe?

[Looking directly at his friend].  Yeah, I’ve got a thorn alright.

Stop it.   Why is it every time we meet here you are grumpy?

Well, you are always in my seat for one thing.

I didn’t know that.  Would you like to sit here?

Why yes, I would.

Show up earlier next time Bonehead.  This seat’s taken.

Putz.

[Momentary pause for the emotions to subside].

Saw some ducks flying south yesterday.

Great.

They were in a “V” formation.

Of course, they were.  They are ducks.  They only know so much alphabet.  There is no “W, X, Y or Z” formation.  They are ducks.

One side of the “V” was longer than the other.

Now you are criticizing duck formations?

Just wondering if you knew why?

Nobody knows why!  Do you know why one side of the duck “V” is longer than the other?

Of course.  There are more ducks on side.

Bonehead!

No, you’re the bonehead.  I’m…

Putz.  I know.

Actually, I think we are both just a couple of grumpy old men.

Your grumpier.

Your grumpiest.

Putz.

Bonehead.

Enough.  I can’t even remember your real name.

It’s Barney if you must know.

Short for Barnabas?

Yes.  Short for Barnabas.

OMG.

You are too old to OMG me.

No, I mean OMG did your parents ever get your name wrong.

What?

Barnabas means “Son of Encouragement.”

Really?

LOL.  I know.

You are too old and grumpy to LOL me.

Isn’t it ironic, don’t you think.  A little too ironic…

How do you know that Barnabas means “Son of Encouragement?”

I have been studying my Bible.

Really?

Yes.  I go to a Bible study group.

They let you in?

Sure.

I don’t believe that.

OK.  I have to host the group, make the coffee, have cake and cookies, and clean up when we are done.

Maybe, if you also parked their cars and provide a valet service I might believe you.

I was keeping that part secret.

I still wouldn’t let you in my Bible study. 

You have a Bible study?

No, but if I did, there would be a no bonehead rule.

Putz.

What was your Bible study about?

This week we read the 5^th chapter of 1^st Thessalonians.

What was it about?

We are supposed to encourage one another and build up one another.

Now there’s your irony for you.

What?

We are supposed to be encouraging each other.  I think we missed the boat on that one.

Not too late to change, is it?

I don’t know.  Should we give it a try.

OK.  My hope is that you have a wonderful day and I will see you tomorrow, Putz.

Fair enough.  May you get your old bones up early tomorrow and get here in time to get this seat, Bonehead.

[Both stand].

I think we’ve got the hang of this encouraging stuff.

[Both walk off stage in separate directions].

See you tomorrow, Bonehead.

Later, Putz.

The end.

Following Jesus

Following Jesus

Matthew 4:18-19, Matthew 11:28-29, Proverbs 3:5-6

Cast:  2 people of any age or gender. One has just been saved and the other is Jesus.

Set:  Any.  Action proceeds in dialogue.  Script or notes may be hidden in props if used.  Both begin center stage with lights down.

Lights up.

Hallelu, Hallelu, Hallelu, Hallelu; praise ye the Lord.  Praise ye the Lord, Hallelujah, Praise ye the…

That’s what I like to see.  Real enthusiasm.

You would be excited too.  I just got saved.

I know.

What?  You weren’t even there.

Actually, I was.

Really?

Most definitely.

OK.  If you say so.  I don’t remember seeing you there.

I was there.

OK.  What’s your name any way?

Some call me Yeshua.  That’s sort of like Joshua.  Most people just call me Jesus these days.

No way!

Yes way!  Actually, the way, the truth, and the life.

 Like, the Jesus?

Yes.

I guess that I should say thanks.

Hmmm…  Why is that a guess?

What?  Oh, I mean, Thank You!

Good.  Now that you have been saved from sin and death, it’s time to follow me.

Actually, I have been wanting to talk to you about that.

Really?

Yes.  I thought that you being Jesus would already know that.

I do, and I also know that you have some reservations about this discipleship stuff.

Do I ever!

You love the gift of eternal life but don’t love it enough to give your life to me as my disciple.

That’s a little strong don’t you think?

How would you word it?

Well, I just, you know, I…   I have some more living to do.

I have some living in store for you.  It’s real living.

I don’t know that I want to give up everything, at least not yet.

So, you think that by following me, you are giving up something more valuable than what I have to give?

Well, when you word it that way…

How would you word it?

I wish you wouldn’t do that.

That’s not really true.

What?

The more that we talk the more we grow closer.

Yeah but those questions…

Are what get us to the truth.

What is this truth?

That I, we, every form of God that you understand, love you more than you can understand.

I think that I get that part, maybe?

But for you to know real life, you must step out of your comfort zone and follow me.

You mean be your disciple?

Yes.

But I don’t know…

My yoke is easy.  My burden is light.  You can learn from me.

But?

I am not a big fan of that word.

It’s one of my favorites.  That and..

 If only.

It seems that you know my deal.  So why do you have to press me about this?

I’m inviting you to real life.  I know it’s the best thing for you, even when it gets tough.

Now don’t get me wrong.  I am excited about this not going to hell thing and eternal life and calorie-free buffets and endless holes in one on the golf course, and…

Not much of a Bible reader, are you?

You already knew that.

Yes, I did.

So how do you expect me to step out of my comfort zone?

One step at a time.  Let’s start with memorizing a verse from the Proverbs.

You’re not going to hit me with fools despise wisdom, are you?

No, but it came in a close second.

OK.  I’m ready.

Are you?

No.  Enough with the questions!  They always throw me for a loop. I need answers.

I have answers let’s start with this.  Trust in the Lord with all your heart.

I know this.  And lean not on your own understanding…

In all you ways acknowledge him,

And he will make your path straight.

Actually, I like the And he will direct your path’s version.

Really?

No.  Teasing!!!

Why would you do that?

Because this whole following me and trusting in the Lords stuff is good stuff.  It’s even fun if you will throw yourself into it.

OK.  I’ll try.

I don’t like that word either.

OK.  I will follow you.

Much better.  We will talk again soon.

But…

[Jesus stares intently at the other cast member without saying a word.]

OK.  No buts.  I have decided to follow Jesus.  No turning back.  No turning back.

The end.

Thanksgiving Mouse 2017

Thanksgiving Mouse 2017

Philippians 4:6-7, Psalms 107, 118, 136

Cast:  1 person—adult or youth—who does not mind scurrying around on the stage.

Equipment:  Wireless microphone.  Costume optional

I can’t believe it!  So my sister-in-law invited me over for Thanksgiving dinner.  And me, not thinking, says “yeah sure.”

What was I thinking?  Really, what was I thinking?

So I show up early thinking there will be some good pre-feast grazing and what do I find?  Health food.  Broccoli and carrots—really!  We are mice not rabbits.

But I do my best to keep my cool, well….    That is….

Until they ask me to help get things ready.  Hey!  I’m the invited guest here.  But now I am putting out place settings and napkins and tidying up.  C’mon now, we are mice not high society.  We nibble.  We don’t dine.

And then the coup de grâce (ko͞o′ də gräs′) – that’s COOP DUH GRASS in these parts, but when you are puttin’ on the Ritz with the in-laws, well anyway. [Hands up to signal it’s time to get back to the main story].

[Shaking head left to right to signal disbelief].  TOFU TURKEY!  Can you believe it.  That should not even be a thing. Tofu turkey.  It was so good to get back here.  I hope there are some scraps of some real food left.  Give me some real Thanksgiving scraps.

I do so love it when the kids kick the piece of banana bread under the fridge.  Or when somehow a piece of mac and cheese gets missed in the cleanup.

[Looks at audience and jumps back].  WHAT!  You people again.  I just got home and it seems like I can’t even get a moment alone.

OMG, OMG, oh, oh, oh…

I remember last year I talked to you people about being thankful and here you catch me on my own little rant.  I’m dragging my pity party around with me right in front of you.

Really!  I’m the church mouse and I should know better.

You know, I think this thanksgiving stuff takes a little work.  I think that we have to get out of the rut that the world likes to keep us in and just think thankful thoughts all the time.

Give thanks to the Lord for he is good.  Yeah, that’s a good one.

[Singing.]  Give thanks with a grateful heart.  I love that song.  Maybe I should live that song too.

Here’s a cool Bible verse from the 4^th chapter of Philippians.  Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.

It’s better with the verse that follows.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

If I ask God with a spirit of thanksgiving, he can give me peace in the middle of my problems.  Now that’s no Tofu Turkey.  That’s some real meat.

Hey!  I gotta go and find some real food, but I am going to do my best to be thankful every step of the way.

[Starts to exit, stops, and looks directly at audience.  Raises index finger to signal a major statement to follow].

Thanksgiving, it’s not just for turkey day anymore.

Exit.