You might be a Pastor...

Not a skit or drama per se, but could be a monologue used for humor, perhaps during Pastor Appreciation Month. 

You might be a pastor…

If anyone has ever approached you saying only, “You know that verse about love in the Bible…” and expected you to give chapter and verse, then you might be a pastor.

If you gave them the exact verse they were looking for on your first offering, then you might be a pastor.

If people start running for the exits when you walk near the choir director’s microphone, then you might be a pastor.

If you find a typo in your notes in a single glance, but find one in the bulletin only after the last copy is made, then you might be a pastor.

If you chose your doctor and dentist based upon the version of the Bible they have in the waiting room, then you might be a pastor.

If you have considered a career change to TV producer—who wouldn’t watch CSI Golgotha, then you might be a pastor.

If you have a sermon to go with every down and distance likely to occur in a football game, then you might be a pastor.

If people feel obliged to purposefully interchange the world seminary and cemetery in light conversation around you, then you might be a pastor.

If other people you know interchange these two words believing them to be synonymous, then you might be a pastor.

If you have learned not to use words like synonymous in conversation so you don’t have to explain that it has nothing to do with sin or anonymity, then you might be a pastor.

If the minutes of the last meeting ever included the phrase, “everyone was in favor and the vote was anonymous,” then you might be a pastor--and you knew not to say anything.

If you can pick up a conversation when someone walks into your office after eight months and says, “You remember that thing we were talking about,” then you might be a pastor.

When looking at some of the more colorful Facebook posts of your congregation, the only comment that you can make on many of them is “so that grace may abound even more,” then you might be a pastor.

If someone asks you where the dish is that they brought to the fellowship meal three years ago, then you might be a pastor.

If you take them right to their dish without hesitation, then you might be a pastor.

If you have been microwaving your lunch in that same dish for the past two years, then you might be a pastor.

If you can’t remember what today is but do remember the lectionary selections, then you might be a pastor.

If people keep dropping off used dryers at your house because you talk about Lent for over a month each year, then you might be a pastor.

If you can find three sermons in every country and western song, then you might be a pastor.