tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16007559577215931782024-03-12T19:07:10.633-07:00Short SkitsThis is a collection of short skits written mainly for church groups. By design they require little rehearsal, may be read from notes hidden in the set, and are very short--generally 2 or 3 minutes. Use them to bless your congregation or other group. Note: Tate Publishing is out of business; however, most of Tom's title's are available in self-published format at Amazon.com.Tom Spencehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08841244955103492348noreply@blogger.comBlogger76125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1600755957721593178.post-2182551432063202332020-09-04T08:33:00.002-07:002020-09-04T11:31:45.670-07:00You might be a Pastor...<p><span style="font-size: medium;">Not a skit or drama per se, but could be a monologue used for humor, perhaps during Pastor Appreciation Month. </span></p><p><br /></p><p></p><p style="background: white;"><span face="" style="font-size: 16pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">You might be a pastor…<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="background: white;"><span face="" style="font-size: 16pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">If anyone has ever approached you saying only, “You
know that verse about love in the Bible…” and expected you to give chapter and
verse, then you might be a pastor.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="background: white;"><span face="" style="font-size: 16pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">If you gave them the exact verse they were looking
for on your first offering, then you might be a pastor.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="background: white;"><span face="" style="font-size: 16pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">If people start running for the exits when you walk
near the choir director’s microphone, then you might be a pastor.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="background: white;"><span face="" style="font-size: 16pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">If you find a typo in your notes in a single glance,
but find one in the bulletin only after the last copy is made, then you might
be a pastor.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="background: white;"><span face="" style="font-size: 16pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">If you chose your doctor and dentist based upon the
version of the Bible they have in the waiting room, then you might be a pastor.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="background: white;"><span face="" style="font-size: 16pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">If you have considered a career change to TV
producer—who wouldn’t watch<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><span face="" style="mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">CSI Golgotha</span>,
then you might be a pastor.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="background: white;"><span face="" style="font-size: 16pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">If you have a sermon to go with every<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span></span><span face="" style="color: black; font-size: 16pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-color-alt: windowtext; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">down
and distance</span><span class="apple-converted-space"><span face="" style="font-size: 16pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"> </span></span><span face="" style="font-size: 16pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">likely to occur in a
football game, then you might be a pastor.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="background: white;"><span face="" style="font-size: 16pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">If people feel obliged to purposefully interchange
the world<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span></span><span face="" style="color: black; font-size: 16pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-color-alt: windowtext; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">seminary</span><span class="apple-converted-space"><span face="" style="font-size: 16pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"> </span></span><span face="" style="font-size: 16pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">and cemetery in
light conversation around you, then you might be a pastor.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="background: white;"><span face="" style="font-size: 16pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">If other people you know interchange these two words
believing them to be synonymous, then you might be a pastor.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="background: white;"><span face="" style="font-size: 16pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">If you have learned not to use words like synonymous
in conversation so you don’t have to explain that it has nothing to do with sin
or anonymity, then you might be a pastor.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="background: white;"><span face="" style="font-size: 16pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">If the minutes of the last<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span></span><span face="" style="color: black; font-size: 16pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-color-alt: windowtext; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;">meeting</span></span><span class="apple-converted-space"><span face="" style="font-size: 16pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"> </span></span><span face="" style="font-size: 16pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">ever included the
phrase, “everyone was in favor and the vote was anonymous,” then you might be a
pastor--and you knew not to say anything.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="background: white;"><span face="" style="font-size: 16pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">If you can pick up a conversation when someone walks
into your office after eight months and says, “You remember that thing we were
talking about,” then you might be a pastor.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="background: white;"><span face="" style="font-size: 16pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">When looking at some of the more colorful<span class="apple-converted-space" style="text-decoration-line: underline;"> </span><span>Facebook<u> </u></span>posts
of your congregation, the only comment that you can make on many of them is “<i><span face="" style="mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">so that grace
may abound even more</span></i>,” then you might be a pastor.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="background: white;"><span face="" style="font-size: 16pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">If someone asks you where the dish is that they
brought to the fellowship meal three years ago, then you might be a pastor.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="background: white;"><span face="" style="font-size: 16pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">If you take them right to their dish without
hesitation, then you might be a pastor.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="background: white;"><span face="" style="font-size: 16pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">If you have been microwaving your lunch in that same
dish for the past two years, then you might be a pastor.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="background: white;"><span face="" style="font-size: 16pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">If you can’t remember what today is but do remember
the<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span></span><span face="" style="color: black; font-size: 16pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-color-alt: windowtext; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;">lectionary </span></span><span face="" style="font-size: 16pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">selections, then you
might be a pastor.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="background: white;"><span face="" style="font-size: 16pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">If people keep dropping off used dryers at your
house because you talk about<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span></span><span face="" style="color: black; font-size: 16pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-color-alt: windowtext; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;">Lent</span></span><span class="apple-converted-space"><span face="" style="font-size: 16pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"> </span></span><span face="" style="font-size: 16pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">for over a month
each year, then you might be a pastor.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="background: white;"><span face="" style="font-size: 16pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">If you can find three sermons in every country and
western song, then you might be a pastor.<span style="color: #666666;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p><br /><p></p>Tom Spencehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08841244955103492348noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1600755957721593178.post-40232919492040873472020-08-25T09:19:00.007-07:002020-08-25T09:19:51.315-07:00Grumpiest Old Men - The John Wrap Up<p> </p><p align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; mso-outline-level: 3; text-align: center;"><br /></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: center;"><span style="color: #444444; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p> </o:p></span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt; text-align: center;">Grumpiest Old Men</span></p>
<p align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: center;"><span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">John Wrap Up</span><span style="color: #444444; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: center;"><span style="color: #444444; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p> </o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="background: white; color: #444444; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Cast: 2
older men. These are longtime friends with much dryness to their
banter. </span><span style="color: #444444; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="color: #444444; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><br />
<span style="background: white;">Set: Anywhere a bench or 2 chairs may be
set as a park bench. Action proceeds in dialogue. Script or notes
may be hidden in props (newspaper) if used. </span>Both enter stage
walking towards each other.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><b>Putz<o:p></o:p></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Bonehead<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><b>How’s it going.<o:p></o:p></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I’m tired.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><b>I can see that.<o:p></o:p></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I need a unit of power.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><b>Watt.<o:p></o:p></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I said, I need a unit of power.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><b>And I said Watt.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That’s
a unit of power.<o:p></o:p></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Ohmmmm.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><b>An ohm is measured resistance.<o:p></o:p></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">What?<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><b>That’s power.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Watts are power.<o:p></o:p></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">You’re a jewel.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><b>No, a joule is how we get to a watt.<o:p></o:p></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">What?<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><b>Exactly.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>One joule
per second produces a watt.<o:p></o:p></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">How in the world does your wife put up with you?<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><b>She doesn’t.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She
sends me to talk to you.<o:p></o:p></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Wonderful.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’ll kept
you current.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><b>Current deals with amps</b>.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">What?<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><b>No watts are power. Amperes deal with current.<o:p></o:p></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Can we talk about something besides electricity?<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><b>You brought it up.<o:p></o:p></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">What?<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><b>There you go again.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>A watt is a measured unit of power.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>One Joule per second is a watt.<o:p></o:p></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Can we talk about something else?<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><b>Sure.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What’s on
your mind?<o:p></o:p></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Now you’re talking electricity.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><b>What?<o:p></o:p></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Exactly!<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><b>How about we talk about John’s gospel.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We both have been reading it.<o:p></o:p></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Yes, we have.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><i>You
will have trouble in the world</i>…<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><b><i>But take heart, I have overcome the world.<o:p></o:p></i></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">That’s some good stuff right there.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>How about, <i>as I have loved you</i>…<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><b><i>So you must love one another.<o:p></o:p></i></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i>By this everyone will know that you are my disciples…<o:p></o:p></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><b><i>If you love one another.<o:p></o:p></i></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">What do you think about this one?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am the bread of life.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><b>Our real sustenance is not food in the physical sense but
God himself and his word.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><i>Man shall
not live by bread alone…<o:p></o:p></i></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i>But by every word that proceeds from the mouth of God.<o:p></o:p></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><b>Try this one.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><i>I
am the light of the world.</i><o:p></o:p></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">That’s easy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The
world is dark.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>God is light.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Live in the light.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><b>Good one.<o:p></o:p></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Here you go.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><i>I am
the door of the sheep</i>.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><b>Jesus is the only way.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>He protects his flock.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We know
his voice.<o:p></o:p></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">And, <i>I am the good shepherd</i>.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><b>Others have come before pretending to be the shepherds of
Israel.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Those just came to steal, kill,
and destroy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Jesus came as the Good
Shepherd so we could really live.<o:p></o:p></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Ok, keep it going.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><i>I
am the resurrection and the life</i>.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><b>Resurrection is less a special day on the eternal
calendar as it is relationship with the eternal God whom we know through his
Son, Christ Jesus.<o:p></o:p></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i>I am the way the truth and the life.<o:p></o:p></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><b>The disciples wanted to see the Father.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Jesus said if you have seen me then you have
seen him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If you know me, then you know
him. I am the only way to the Father.<o:p></o:p></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i>I am the true vine.<o:p></o:p></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><b>It’s all about connection and relationship.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When we stay connected to God through Jesus
and respond to the Spirit of God within us, we can produce some good fruit.<o:p></o:p></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">And everything that we do will be fruitful?<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><b>Sometimes God does a little pruning so we don’t waste our
best efforts on things that don’t produce good fruit.<o:p></o:p></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">It’s sort of like you’re plugged in or you not.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><b>If you are unplugged, you have no volts.<o:p></o:p></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">What?<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><b>Watts are power.<o:p></o:p></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Ohmmmm…<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><b>Ohms are resistance.<o:p></o:p></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I think that God is going to punish you for being so ornery.
<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><b>He already has.<o:p></o:p></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">What?<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><b>Watts are power.<o:p></o:p></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">OK, how?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>HOW has God
punished you?<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><b>I have to talk with you every day.<o:p></o:p></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">[BOTH THROW THEIR HANDS IN THE AIR, STAND, AND START TO WALK
AWAY]<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><b>Putz<o:p></o:p></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Bonehead<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">[BOTH CONTINUE WALKING OFF STAGE]<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><b>God loves you.<o:p></o:p></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Love one another.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><b>God loves you.<o:p></o:p></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Love one another.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Both together to the audience:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>GOD LOVES YOU.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Audience responds:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>LOVE ONE ANOTHER.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">The end.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p>Tom Spencehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08841244955103492348noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1600755957721593178.post-22736611549181844602020-04-26T09:59:00.001-07:002020-04-26T09:59:24.667-07:00Grumpiest Old Men - COVID-19 Special<br />
<div align="center" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; text-align: center;">
<span style="color: black; font-family: "Calibri",sans-serif; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Grumpiest
Old Men<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<o:p></o:p>
<div align="center" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; text-align: center;">
<span style="color: black; font-family: "Calibri",sans-serif; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">COVID-19
Special<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; text-align: center;">
<span style="color: black; font-family: "Calibri",sans-serif; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">2
Timothy 1:7<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="background: white; color: #444444; font-family: "Calibri",sans-serif; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Cast: 2 older men. These
are longtime friends with much dryness to their banter. </span></div>
<o:p></o:p>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: "Calibri",sans-serif; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><br />
<span style="background: white;">Set: Anywhere 2 chairs may be
set. Distancing is part of the on-stage action. Action proceeds in dialogue. Script or notes may be hidden in
props (newspaper) if used. </span></span><span style="color: black; font-family: "Calibri",sans-serif; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Both enter stage walking towards each other.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<o:p></o:p>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: "Calibri",sans-serif; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><br />
<span style="background: white;">Lights up.</span></span><span style="color: black; font-family: "Calibri",sans-serif; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Putz<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Bonehead <o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">How’s things?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>[Breaking out tape measurer to check for 6
feet in distance]<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">You know,
different.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What in tarnation are you
doing?<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Checking that I have 8 feet distance.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">The guidance is 6
feet.<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">They granted you an exception.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Well then yours
should be 10 feet.<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Ok so that 8 plus 10 is 18 divided by
2.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Never mind.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>[Breaks out disinfectant and sprays]<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">[Waving hand in front of face]<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><b>Have you been drinking your Clorox?</b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">No!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Why not?<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I’m waiting for the gummies.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Of course.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Hey!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Guess what?<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">What?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I’ve been worshiping
from home.<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Good on ya.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Do you sing the songs?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">You betcha!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sometimes, I even get the words right.<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">And you listen to the sermon?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Of course.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Don’t you remember that much of our growth
comes from suffering?<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Yeah, OK.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Bet you are glad that you are not there for
the offering.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">What?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I mail mine in.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That’s between God and me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s not a pew tax.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am a cheerful giver<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Wow!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>You really are on top of things.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Not really.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m still not sure about what to do when
things start to get back to normal, whatever that will be.<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Why?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">There’s the
federal guidance and the state guidance and each business is doing its own
thing.<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">OK.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">And then there’s
the church guidance but I’m also in the vulnerable group.<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">OK.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">But surely people
will think that I’m nonessential if I don’t show up.<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">That’s a lot of factors to consider
right there.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I know.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m afraid that I won’t make the right decision.<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">That’s my cue right there.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">What?<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">For God did not give us a spirit of
fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">So, I just rush
boldly into the fray?<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">That’s not what I said.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Actually, Paul wrote this counsel to a young
pastor and friend named Timothy.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I’m not a pastor.<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">The counsel is good for all of us.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Yeah, OK, but
just not being afraid seems a little risky.<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">You need to listen to the second part
of the counsel.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Which was?<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in; text-indent: -.5in;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">You already get the part about what God did
not give us.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 1.0in; text-indent: -1.0in;">
<b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">A spirit of fear.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Got it. <o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 1.0in; text-indent: -1.0in;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">But he did give us a spirit of power, love,
and a sound mind.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 1.0in; text-indent: -1.0in;">
<a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="_Hlk38788306"><b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">There is power,
power, wonderworking power,<o:p></o:p></span></b></a></div>
<span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk38788306;"></span>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 1.0in; text-indent: -1.0in;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">In the blood<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 1.0in; text-indent: -1.0in;">
<b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Of the Lamb.<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Together:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><b><span style="color: #002060;">THERE IS
POWER, POWER, WONDERWORKING POWER IN THE PRECIOUS BLOOD OF THE LAMB.</span><o:p></o:p></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Oh no!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s the police.<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">We’re observing social distance.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Not the Distance Police
you bonehead, the Music Police.<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">OK.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Try to act normal.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I think that’s a
stretch for either one of us.<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Look.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>They are turning the other way.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Must have been
the disinfectant.<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">OK, back to Paul’s counsel.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The second gift is love.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We live with the spirit of love.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">[Singing]<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><b><i>All you need is love, love.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Love is all you need.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Love is all you need.<o:p></o:p></i></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Don’t let the police hear you.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">[Both hands go up to cover mouth] <b>Oops!<o:p></o:p></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Now to the third item on the list.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">A sound mind?<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Yes, a sound mind.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Are you accusing
me of having a sound mind?<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">That’s not easy for me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Now, I’m enjoying
this part.<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Happy Birthday!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">That’s not until
next month.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What did you get me?<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Toilet paper.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">You didn’t hoard
toilet paper, did you?<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">No, but my neighbor did and now they
are selling it for ten cents a roll.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">But how do I practice
a sound mind when I am afraid?<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Good question.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Try this.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Ready.<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Use your sound mind to come up with
your best courses of action.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">OK.<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Pick the best of the best.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">OK, but I might still
be afraid.<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">OK, but ask yourself:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What would I do if I were not afraid?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Well, obviously
the best course of action, but I would still be afraid.<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Then remember that fear is not from
God.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">So, I should
trust in the Lord and the sound mind that he gave me.<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Exactly!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">OK.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’ll do my best.<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Hey!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Sorry to rush but I have to get out of here.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">What’s up?<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I drew some cheer you up pictures on
my driveway with colored chalk. And the police are after me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">The Corona
Police?<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">No, the Art Police!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I’m distancing
myself from you.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’ve seen you draw.<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Both exit.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">The end.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />Tom Spencehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08841244955103492348noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1600755957721593178.post-56406818427276707732020-03-07T09:26:00.000-08:002020-03-24T10:50:53.291-07:00Grumpiest Old Men - The James Wrap Up<br />
<div align="center" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; text-align: center;">
<span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt;">Grumpiest Old Men<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; text-align: center;">
<span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt;">James Wrap Up<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="background: white; color: #444444; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif;">Cast: 2 older men. These
are longtime friends with much dryness to their banter.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This cast also includes a cameo appearance by
the Church Mouse.</span><span style="color: black; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #444444; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><br />
<span style="background: white;">Set: Anywhere a bench or 2 chairs may be
set as a park bench. Action proceeds in dialogue. Script or notes
may be hidden in props (newspaper) if used. </span></span><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Both enter stage walking towards each other.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><br />
<span style="background: white;">Lights up.</span></span><span style="color: black; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
[Dragging himself across the stage as if it was the end of
the world] Putz<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Bonehead<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Morrrrning<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>What’s up with you<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I fell off a 60-foot ladder.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>And you are still walking?<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Yeah, I was just on the first rung.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
[Shaking head in disgust, then recomposing for the
conversation] <b>Do you remember when…</b><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’m sure I do.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have
the memory of an elephant.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Really?<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Yeah, when I was 11 years old, I went to the zoo and saw an elephant.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I still remember it.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>I can see how I put up with you, but I don’t know how your
wife does.<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Easy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am a whiz
come romancing time.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Really?<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Take this last Valentine’s Day.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>I thought you thought that was a big commercial scam?<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Yeah,<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>but it has its
benefits.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Oh?<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’m in Walmart thinking of what I could get her.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Man, you go all out.<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So, I thought, I could get her 2 roses for five bucks or a
whole rotisserie chicken.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>And?<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
She got a wing and a leg.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Took care of the romancing and dinner all in one deal.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>You are a nut!<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
No, I went back on February 15<sup>th</sup> and got her some
half price candy.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Did she get you anything?<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Well, yeah!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She got
me the link on how to climb a 60-foot ladder all the way to the top.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Priceless!<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
That’s right, you don’t have to pay for those links.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That was some good shopping.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Have you tried to climb that ladder yet?<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
No, she had some papers I have to sign first.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It has to do with climbing the ladder.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Papers?<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The were AD&D papers.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>She said it was the Adult Domestic Device warranty papers.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I think it’s a federal law or and OSHA thing something like
that.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Yeah, something like that.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Did you sign them?<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Yep.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>I think AD&D stands for Accident Death and
Dismemberment.<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Whatever. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She just
said reach for the stars.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I knew that
rotisserie chicken would win her over.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
ENTER THE CHURCH MOUSE<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
HEY GUYS!<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
What?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>What?<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Hey!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s that church
mouse.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
HEY!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>IT’S THOSE TWO
GRUMPY MEN FROM CHURCH!<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Grumpy?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Grumpy?<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
THIS IS COMING AS A SURPRISE TO YOU?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Well.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>I don’t, well…<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I THOUGHT YOU GUYS WERE SUPPOSED TO BE TALKING ABOUT THE
BOOK OF JAMES ALL MONTH LONG.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>I think we were talking about the letter to Ephesus in
Revelation.<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
What?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Remember the height from which you have fallen and repent!<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
YOU GUYS ARE THE PERFECT OBJECT LESSONS FOR WHAT NOT TO DO!<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
What!<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>What!<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
DO YOU REMEMBER THE CHARGE TO BE DOERS OF THE WORD?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Yeah, of course, I remember.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I have the memory of an elephant. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
WHAT?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
[Holding up both hands palms forward]<b> Don’t go there.<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
YEAH, OK, BUT INSTEAD OF SPENDING ALL OF YOUR TIME ON THIS
BENCH DISCUSSING ALL MANNER OF THINGS INSIGNIFICANT, YOU COULD BE<i> <u>INVESTING</u></i> YOUR
TIME PUTTING YOUR MASTER’S WORDS INTO PRACTICE.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Now we are dealing with an investment mouse.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Maybe she can teach you to climb the ladder of success.<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I think you just want my wife to collect that AD&D
money.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m staying off any ladders for a
while.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
DID YOU GUYS LEARN ANYTHING THIS PAST MONTH?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Yes:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Powerful<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Yes:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Effective<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
WHAT?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The prayers of a righteous person are powerful…<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>And effective.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
OK.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>SO HOW DOES THIS
AFFECT YOUR LIFE?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The more that people get to know us…<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>The more people who know us say, “I’ll pray for you guys!”<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We have been effectively powered by prAyer.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
YEAH, OK. GOTCHA.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’VE
GOT TO GO.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I HEARD THERE WAS A BIG MEAL
IN THE MAKIN’ SO I’VE GOT PLANS TO MAKE TO GET ME ENOUGH FOOD FOR A WEEK.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>Plans</i>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Did she
say <i>plans</i>?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>You lay those plans at the feet of Jesus.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You submit those plans to him.<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I KNOW.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><i>IF THE
LORD WILLS IT</i>. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’M THERE EVERY
SUNDAY AND I DO PAY ATTENTION.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
MOUSE EXITS.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I have to go too.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Plans to make?<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Nope.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I still have
half of a rotisserie chicken to eat.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Anything else?<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And a ladder to sell.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Both exit.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The end.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />Tom Spencehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08841244955103492348noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1600755957721593178.post-33225407783460167642020-03-06T09:20:00.000-08:002020-03-06T09:57:46.436-08:00Grumpiest Old Men - More from James<div align="center" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;">Grumpiest Old Men<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;">James Across the Board<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="background: white; color: #444444; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif;">Cast: 2 older men. These
are longtime friends with much dryness to their banter.</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #444444; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><br />
<span style="background: white;">Set: Anywhere a bench or 2 chairs may be
set as a park bench. Action proceeds in dialogue. Script or notes
may be hidden in props (newspaper) if used. </span></span><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Both enter stage walking towards each other.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><br />
<span style="background: white;">Lights up.</span></span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Putz<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Bonehead.<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">[Both take seats and break out a
newspaper.]<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">So, how’s life treating you?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Are you kidding
me?<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">No.
That’s what I always ask you.
Then you get grumpy.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Well, you would
get grumpy too if you were reading a book that said to consider it pure joy
when you face all sorts of trials.<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Didn’t we go through that before?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">No. We talked about it before. Now I’m going through it.<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Oh.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">And this being a
doer of the word is no walk in the park either.<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">You mean actually putting the things
that Jesus told us into practice.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">That’s what I’m
talking about.<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">OK.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">And I also have
to watch my tongue.<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Did you get it pierced?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">No. I have to watch what I say.<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Yeah, I guess we all have to do that,
don’t we?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">If we get it
wrong, small words can start big controversies.<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Like a spark starting a huge forest
fire.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Yep.<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">You are going to be proud of me. I mean this is brownie points stuff. This is so, so, so big!!!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">You got a
humility award?<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">No.
I can’t even tell how much water is in the air.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">That’s humidity.<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I didn’t get that award either.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Maybe next year.<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Yeah, maybe. Hey!
Quit distracting me. I’m doing
something big this Sunday.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Singing a
special?<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">No.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Goooood, because our
insurance is void if you get within 10 feet of the choir microphone.<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">What?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Last time people
thought you were going to sing; three people fell and we had two broken arms as
everybody the rushed the exit.<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Yeah, ok, but this is going to be big.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">OK, what is it.<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I’m coming in 30 minutes early this
Sunday to prepare some VIP seating. I’m
going to put out the reserved signs like we do at funerals and have some of
those petite bottles of water at the ready.
Would popcorn be too much?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">What?<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">You’re right. No popcorn.
Maybe granola bars.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">No, I’m not
talking about popcorn. I’m talking about
showing favoritism.<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">What’s wrong with that. We might get a little credibility if we had
some big shots around here. Come on,
everybody does it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Credibility?<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Yeah, we might get some church street
cred if we got us a Rapper or millionaire or a politician.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">This place that
you are going to fancy up for the big shots is called what?<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">A sanctuary. Everybody knows that.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Who is honored
and revered and praised in that place?<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Since we don’t have any bigshots, just
God.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">If it was full of
big shots, who should be honored?<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">This is a trick question, isn’t it?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Only for you.<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">OK, only God should be honored.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">What do you think
the bigshots need more than special privileges?<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I’m going to go with truth and
ministry. I think they get enough
special privileges everywhere else.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Good answer. Now what if someone who looks like they have
been wearing the same clothes all week comes to worship.<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">That’s easy. They can have those seats way in the
back. Out of sight. Out of mind, you know.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">What?<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I have been spraying extra Lysol back
in that corner, just in case.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Have you been
reading the book of James?<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Yes, sort of, I needed a break.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">You needed a
break?<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">OK, I just took a break.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Are you throwing
in the towel?<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">No, I want to be a disciple of Jesus.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Not just a member
of a cosmic country club?<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">No, I want to follow Jesus.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">OK, we will meet
each day from now on to talk about the day’s reading.<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Sort of like an accountability
partner.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Something like
that.<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">It could be challenging.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I’m counting on
it. It should be pure joy!<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">OK, get this. Two blondes walk into a building.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">What?<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">You think one of them would have seen
it. [Laughs at own joke]<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">[Rolling his eyes] We will talk about
taming the tongue tomorrow. Get back to
your reading.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Bonehead exits with palms up. You think one of them would have seen it.
[Laughing again].<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Both exit.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">The
end</span>Tom Spencehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08841244955103492348noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1600755957721593178.post-82536151029554436262020-02-19T11:29:00.002-08:002020-02-19T11:29:53.659-08:00Grumpiest Old Men - James 2<br />
<div align="center" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; text-align: center;">
<span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt;">Grumpiest Old Men<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; text-align: center;">
<span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt;">James 2<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="background: white; color: #444444; font-family: "Calibri",sans-serif; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Cast: 2 older men. These
are longtime friends with much dryness to their banter.</span><span style="color: black; font-family: "Calibri",sans-serif; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #444444; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><br />
<span style="background: white;">Set: Anywhere a bench or 2 chairs may be
set as a park bench. Action proceeds in dialogue. Script or notes
may be hidden in props (newspaper) if used. </span></span><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Both enter stage walking towards each other.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: "Calibri",sans-serif; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><br />
<span style="background: white;">Lights up.</span></span><span style="color: black; font-family: "Calibri",sans-serif; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Putz<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Bonehead.<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">[Both take seats and break out a
newspaper.]<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">So, how’s life treating you?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">You know, running
the good race</span></b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">That’s good.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Paul’s second letter to Timothy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Good stuff.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Run the good race, fight the good fight, keep the faith.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Good stuff.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">So you have been
running a good race yourself?<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I just said the words, didn’t I?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I’m just trying
to be a good listener.<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Man, that’s fantastic.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to
speak, and slow to become angry…<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I was just
thinking…<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I’m not finished, because man’s anger
can not bring about the righteous life that God desires.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">[Sacastically]<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><b>Good stuff. [Rolls eyes at being
interrupted].</b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Quick to listen, slow to speak, slow
to anger—man, I get this stuff.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">It’s like I said
earlier.<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">What?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>You said something?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">That’s ok.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Forgive me for taking a turn in this
conversation.<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Not a problem.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Got you covered.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If we confess our sins, God is faithful and
just to forgive.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">That’s good stuff
alright.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You confessed lately.<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Not exactly.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But I know me some Bible.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Now faith is the substance of things hoped
for, the evidence of things not seen.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">That’s a good
one.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Are you putting your faith into
practice?<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">What do you mean?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I just said you can’t see it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">What if you could
see it?<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">That wouldn’t make sense.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">What if by what I
did, you knew that I had faith?<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">How does that even make sense?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">What if there is
more to our faith than just saying we have it?<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">It sounds like you want me to do stuff
to earn my salvation.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Nope.<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Sounds like it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am saved by grace through faith.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s in the Bible.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I think that Peter guy said it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">It was Paul.<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Whatever.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I didn’t do anything to receive my salvation.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in; text-indent: -.5in;">
<b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Couldn’t have said it better myself.<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">So, what’s with this doing
stuff—works, deeds, whatever?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Since you asked…<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I didn’t mean to.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">What happened to
quick to listen?<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Give me a break.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">God gave you—us—a
big break.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Grace is bigtime.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Don’t you think we should do something in
response to his incredible gift?<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Yeah, ok, like what?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Put his words
into practice.<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">That’s like the man that built his
house on solid rock.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Exactly.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>James would call that being a doer of the
word.<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">That implies that I would need to do
something.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Yep.<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">To get my salvation?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Nope.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Because you have received salvation.<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">So, faith and works work together?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Exactly.<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">As the body without the spirit is
dead, so faith without works is dead.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Exactly.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Want to start putting some of God’s word into
practice?<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Sounds scary.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">My turn.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For God did not give us a spirit of fear, but
of power, love, and a sound mind.<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Yeah, OK.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">So, you are up to
putting God’s word into practice?<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">You mean being a doer of the word?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Yes.<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Sure.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I wonder if there is an opening in the consulting department?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">What!<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I’m really good at giving my opinion.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I’m thinking
there is an immediate opening for you in the slow to speak & quick to
listen department.<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><br /></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">[Palms upward feigning shock].<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Both exit.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">The end.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />Tom Spencehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08841244955103492348noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1600755957721593178.post-54821771771220927102020-02-19T11:00:00.003-08:002020-02-19T11:00:52.869-08:00Month of the Bible Mouse<br />
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in; text-align: center; text-indent: -.5in;">
<b>Month of the Bible Mouse<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
James 2-3<o:p></o:p></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Cast:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>1 person—adult
or youth—who does not mind scurrying around on the stage.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Equipment:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Wireless
microphone.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Costume optional. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Lights up<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
[Walking onstage and looking down and shaking head back and
forth].<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Unbelievable!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Totally
unbelievable.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I can’t believe I did that.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We had been friends for years.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I wanted to share my New Year’s resolution with
her—she had been my best friend for years.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So, I said that this year I was going to be more
tactful.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The next thing I know, I said
to her:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’ll bet yours is to lose weight
and get your teeth straightened.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Where did that come from?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I can’t believe the things that I say sometimes.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I really didn’t expect that it would cause the trouble that
it did.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was like a spark setting a
whole forest on fire.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It was like a tiny rudder on a big ship and the next thing
you know the ship has turned into an iceberg.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I’ve got a Titanic Tongue and my ship is sinking.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
You can tame about any animal that you want, but the human
tongue is a wild beast.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If I was a
horse, somebody would have put a bit in my mouth and bridled me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
[Looking at the audience and surprised!]<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Whoa!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Not <i>whoa</i>
like you say to a horse—yes, I know I was using a horse reference—but<i> whoa</i>
like when did you people get here?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Where
did you come from?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’m glad to see that you saved some good seats up front,
just in case some celebrities show up.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Yeah, you had better treat them right.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>They deserve the Red-Carpet Treatment.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I see that you have saved some seats for the undesirables in
the back.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sorry, some of those are already
taken.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>[Waving hands at the back
seats].<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>At least you know where to sit.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
OK, one for two isn’t bad.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>You still have some reserved seats in case the big shots and high
rollers come in.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
What am I saying?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
can’t believe what I am saying this morning.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Save seats for the big shots.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Those are the same people that will drag you into court if you are late
on your rent.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>These are the same people
who forget to pay you for cutting their grass.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Why would we show them favoritism?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
That’s like mice showing the Terminator where to set traps
and leave poison.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Why would we do that
unless we had been brainwashed by the world?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Those that we might call undesirable might just have more
hunger for the word of truth than most of us.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I think I have this upside down.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I need to get right-side up.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>But what can I do?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m just a
church mouse.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What can I do?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
[Picks up a crumpled paper off the floor and reads it aloud].<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>IS YOUR WORLD
UPSIDE DOWN?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>DO YOU WANT TO TRY TO GET
RIGHT SIDE UP?<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>JOIN US FOR THE
MONTH OF THE BIBLE AS WE TAKE ON THE BOOK OF JAMES.<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Note to the
timid:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This will take you out of your
comfort zone!<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b><br /></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Now that sounds like it might be worth working into my busy
schedule.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
[Looks at the audience.]<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>What do you say?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Are you up for
the challenge?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in; text-indent: -.5in;">
[Begins to walk
off, then stops.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Looks at audience].<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
You know what would be good?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Study the book of James all month and then have a big meal at the
end.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I love the stuff that you guys
bring for fellowship meals.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
You guys keep on studying and get that meal together and I
will work on what I say.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I mean you can’t
curse and praise the Lord out of the same mouth, not if you really want to
follow Jesus.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And, of course, don’t feel guilty about dropping a whole
deviled egg on the floor during the meal.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I will just consider it a good gift from above.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Every good gift is from above.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Later, church peeps!<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Exit.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />Tom Spencehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08841244955103492348noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1600755957721593178.post-33921337131221321212020-02-17T09:51:00.000-08:002020-02-17T09:51:22.799-08:00Grumpiest Old Men - James 1<br />
<div align="center" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; text-align: center;">
<span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt;">Grumpiest Old Men<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; text-align: center;">
<span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt;">James 1<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="background: white; color: #444444; font-family: "Calibri",sans-serif; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Cast: 2 older men. These
are longtime friends with much dryness to their banter.</span><span style="color: black; font-family: "Calibri",sans-serif; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #444444; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><br />
<span style="background: white;">Set: Anywhere a bench or 2 chairs may be
set as a park bench. Action proceeds in dialogue. Script or notes
may be hidden in props (newspaper) if used. </span></span><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Both enter stage walking towards each other.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: "Calibri",sans-serif; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><br />
<span style="background: white;">Lights up.</span></span><span style="color: black; font-family: "Calibri",sans-serif; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Putz<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Bonehead.<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">[Both take seats and break out a
newspaper.]<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">So, how’s life treating you?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">You know, running
the good race</span></b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">That’s good.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">[Putz stares at Bonehead’s shoes and
then at bonehead.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Bonehead stares back.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Back and forth stares continue for a
few rounds.]<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">What?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">You have your
shoes on the wrong feet.<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">[Back and forth stares resume.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Bonehead raises hands with palms
upward.]<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Wrong feet?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Wrong feet.<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">These are the only feet that I have.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Why do I put up
with you?<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Maybe because I help you grow.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">What?<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Maybe, I am a trial in your race of
faith and I help you grow.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Where did you
come up with that?<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">The Bible.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">You are not
supposed to be making stuff up and claiming it’s in the Bible.<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I’m not.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s right here in the book of James.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">[Sacastically]<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><b>Right</b>.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">It’s there alright as sure as my shoes
are on the right feet.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">That doesn’t
sound like biblespeak.<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">What?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">You, know,
biblespeak.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Thou shalt not.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Thus saith the Lord.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And he spaketh to them a parable.<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">OK, I get it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But it’s in the Bible, the first part of the
first chapter of James.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">That your
boneheadedness is helping me grow?<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Actually, James says to consider it
pure joy whenever you face trials of many kinds.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">That’s an ox,
moron.<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Don’t call me a moron!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">What else can I
call it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Joy and trials don’t go
together.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s an ox moron.<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Oh, you mean oxymoron.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Yeah, one of them
things.<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">That’s what makes reading James
fun.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He challenges us with things that
disrupt our comfort zones.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Why would he do
that.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Is he some kind of rabble rouser?<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">If you are comfortable in your
discipleship just the way it is, then that is exactly what he is.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">What if I like my
comfort zone but know that I need to grow?<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Then James is the perfect book to
read.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in; text-indent: -.5in;">
<b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">But considering my trials to be joy—pure joy
at that—just doesn’t seem to fit.<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 1.0in; text-indent: -1.0in;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">It’s this testing of our faith that produces
perseverance and spiritual growth.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 1.0in; text-indent: -1.0in;">
<b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Isn’t there another way?<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">You tell me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If you want to get strong physically but you
won’t put any weights on the lifting bar, how strong do you think you will get?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">You are not going
to accomplish much unless your have some resistance in your strength
program.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Trust me, I didn’t get this
fine specimen of a body overnight.<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Obviously.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">So what you are
saying…<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">What James is saying…<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Is that I should
look at the things the world throws at me like adding weights to the bar so I
can grow in my faith.<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Now you’ve got it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">So that covers
the Book of James?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m feeling good
about that.<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Oh, there is more.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Much more?<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Much more.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Okay, maybe I’ll
start reading it</span></b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Do it daily.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Daily?<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">That’s the challenge.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I’ll need some
help.<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I know some people who will pray for
you.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Will that help?<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Their prayers are powerful and
effective, but we will get to that part later.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Then until next
time.<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Next time.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Make sure that
your shoes are on the right feet.<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Both exit.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">The end.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />Tom Spencehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08841244955103492348noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1600755957721593178.post-32323204120023180152019-12-06T15:41:00.000-08:002019-12-06T15:41:22.510-08:00Christmas Mouse 2019<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Christmas Mouse<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Christmas 2019<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
John 1:14<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Cast:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>1 person—adult
or youth—who does not mind scurrying around on the stage.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Equipment:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Wireless
microphone.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Costume optional. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Church mouse enters—makes a bold entrance into the
sanctuary—and is very much aware and expecting to see that there are people in
the pews.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The mouse has something to say
to those present and dives right into the monologue.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I knew that you guys would be here and that the food would
be excellent.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I didn’t even wait for you
guys to drop something on the floor.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>While nobody was looking, I scarfed down two deviled eggs.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Nobody will notice after the first few people
go through the line.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
You guys are no surprise to me anymore.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’ve got you figured out, especially at this
time of year, and because I knew you would be here, I thought you deserved
something extra.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Here we go.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
[Mouse goes into standup routine].<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So, why is 6 afraid of 7?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Because 7 ate (8) 9.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
As I was going to St. Ives, I met a man with 7 wives, 7
wives with 7 sacks, 7 sacks with 7 cats:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>How many were going to St. Ives?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Why only 1, just me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I was going to St. Ives.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The rest
were headed the other way.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
How many of each type of animal did Moses put on the
Ark?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>None.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Noah loaded the ark.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Gotcha!<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
You might have to think about this one.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You are heading into a very dark cave.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You have a candle, a torch, and a lantern,
but you only have 1 match.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Which do you
light first?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Why the match, of course.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
[Over acting, taking bows, feeling good about himself]<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Well, I hope you enjoyed the show.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was my present to you.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But here’s the thing, I would like you to
give me a present this year.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s not
that I am not grateful for those 2 slices of banana bread that you forgot
dropped on the floor last week.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was
very thankful for those.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Here is what I would like you to give me and others this
year.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Share the love of God wherever you go.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Live in the favor of God and invite others to join you.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And sing <i>Happy Birthday</i> to Jesus this year.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He is the reason that you are all here.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He is the reason that you may know joy in
your heart.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Let’s just sing it now.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
[Bold hand gestures as if leading the choir or orchestra]<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>Happy birthday to you.<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>Happy birthday to you.<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>Happy birthday dear Jesus,<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>Happy birthday to you.<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
You have heard the traditional Christmas story.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Now listen to the shortest Christmas story.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We
have seen his glory, the glory of the one and only Son, who came from the
Father, full of grace and truth.<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
May God bless you each and every one.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Exit<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The end.<o:p></o:p></div>
<br />Tom Spencehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08841244955103492348noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1600755957721593178.post-25483184865902275622019-02-27T10:22:00.000-08:002019-02-27T10:22:19.761-08:00Grumpiest Old Men Stop Grumbling<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
Grumpiest Old Men<o:p></o:p></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
Philippians 2:14-16<o:p></o:p></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="background: white; color: #444444; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 14.2667px;">Cast: 2 older men. These are longtime friends with much dryness to their banter.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 14.2667px;"><br /><span style="background: white;">Set: Anywhere a bench or 2 chairs may be set as a park bench. Action proceeds in dialogue. Script or notes may be hidden in props (newspaper) if used. One <b>friend</b> is already center stage with lights down. The second friend enters as lights come up.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 14.2667px;"><br /><span style="background: white;">Lights up.</span></span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The first old man walks up to bench and sees<b> </b>friend<b> </b>already seated.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Putz<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Bonehead<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Cut me some slack<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Why? What?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Then don’t. Just be that way.<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Man, you’ve got it bad this morning.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Tell me about it.<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Since I don’t know what’s eating you, why don’t you tell me.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>OK, if I have to.<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Well, you don’t have to, but…<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>I knew it. Not even my best buddy wants to hear what’s going on.<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
That’s not what I said.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Now you’re even kicking me to the curb.<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
What in tarnation are you talking about?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>The preacher has us memorizing words out of the Bible.<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
You mean scripture?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Yeah. That’s it.<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Doesn’t sound that bad.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Well you’re not the one having to use the extra brain cells.<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I can see how that might be challenging to you.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Now you’re picking on me.<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I always pick on you and at you. That’s what we do.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Whatever.<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Why don’t you tell me what you are supposed to memorize?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Yeah, OK. I’ve got it here somewhere.<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Go ahead.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>It’s Philippians 2:14.<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
What does Philippians 2:14 say?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>[Mumbling] Do everything without grumbling or arguing<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
What? Stop mumbling.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>So you want me to stop mumbling and God’s word says stop grumbling. This is cutting into my persona.<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Yeah, OK. Say the verse again.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Do everything without grumbling or arguing.<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Hey, I remember that verse.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Great, now I’m a dummy for not knowing it.<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
No, no, no. It’s the start of a much larger thought.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>There’s more?<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Of course, there is more. The Bible is more than just a bunch of one-liners.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>So what’s the more?<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Listen to this: Do everything without grumbling or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, “children of God without fault in a warped and crooked generation.” Then you will shine among them like stars in the sky as you hold firmly to the word of life.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>That’s pretty cool. I wonder why we don’t memorize the whole thing?<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Look how much you grumbled over a few words to memorize.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Point taken. But if we aren’t arguing and complaining, what will we talk about?<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
That will cut into our lifestyle.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>That’s for sure.<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
How about we talk about shining like stars in a world that’s a complete mess?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>You and me shining like stars?<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Yep!<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>I can dig it. Let’s shine all day long, everywhere we go, with everyone we see…<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Whoa. Hold your horses, let’s not go overboard!<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Quit grumbling about it. Don’t you read your Bible? No grumbling!<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
[Raising hands in surrender] OK! Let’s shine like stars.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Exit.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
The end.</div>
Tom Spencehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08841244955103492348noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1600755957721593178.post-51521393288111893092018-12-19T13:42:00.000-08:002018-12-19T13:42:23.623-08:00New Year's Eve Mouse<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;">New Year’s Eve Mouse 2018<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;">John 10:10, John 13:34-35<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Cast: 1 person—adult or youth—who does not mind scurrying around on the stage.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Equipment: Wireless microphone. Costume optional. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Church mouse enters—<i>makes a bold entrance into the sanctuary</i>—and is very much aware and expecting to see that there are people in the pews. The mouse has something to say to those present and dives right into the monologue.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Hey guys! I was hoping you would be here. I know, I know, I’ve been out for a while, so I was hoping I would have a chance to explain.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
[Wiping forehead] Whew! Fifteen bowl games in ten days. That was some living, let me tell you!<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Oh, I didn’t go to the games or even watch them, but I sure cleaned up on some pretzels, nachos, pizza, and chips and dip. I didn’t know there was so much variety, but you find you a house or two with a big screen and snacks go a flying with just about every touchdown.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
People yell “Boomer” and before someone says “Sooner” there’s a little smokie or a pig in a blanket hitting the floor.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Top that off with some Christmas parties. Yeah, I know I should have been here, but meatballs and cheese balls and popcorn balls were <i>a callin’</i>. Deck the halls with balls of popcorn, fa la la la la, you get the idea.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Eat, drink, and be merry for tomorrow you may die. Live it up, that’s what I say. I never met a cheeseball I didn’t like.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I am already looking for a New Year’s Eve party with lots of drinking and by that, I mean lots of spilled snacks. People stumbling all over the place. I don’t even have to worry about being seen. Having someone fall on me is another story but I can start eating as soon as someone says “Cheers.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
That’s the life. Sometimes it’s good just to make everything all about me. That’s some living.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
[Long pause. Thinker’s pose]<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Well except for this empty feeling inside of me. You would think with all that I have been eating that I would be full, very full. But I’m not. Something feels empty inside.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I think that I know, but I don’t really want to admit it, or maybe I do. Maybe that’s why I’m here today.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
For the past couple weeks or so, I haven’t done anything for anyone else. It’s all been about me. It seemed like fun at the time, but I just don’t feel full.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I have heard you guys talk about Jesus wanting us to have life and live it to the full. He didn’t say eat it until you’re full. I think I need to get back to this love one another stuff.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I think I had better get back to regarding others more highly than myself.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I think that I am starving to help somebody. Is that a metaphor or just creative syntax? Whatever it is, it’s how I feel.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I need to love my neighbors more than I need to stuff my face, and I’ve had some good stuffing over the past few weeks. I just keep rambling on and on, and what I need to do is put some of these thoughts into action.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So, I wrap up here by saying:<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Merry Christmas!<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Happy New Year!<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Oh, oh, oh, I don’t want to forget this one: LOVE ONE ANOTHER. Love one another. That’s the ticket right there. Love one another.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Exit.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
The end.<o:p></o:p></div>
Tom Spencehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08841244955103492348noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1600755957721593178.post-89653580267382347812018-12-05T14:43:00.001-08:002018-12-05T14:43:29.875-08:00Grumpiest Old Men - The Wise Men<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Grumpiest Old Men<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">The Wise Men<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; color: #444444; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Cast: 2 older men. These are longtime friends with much dryness to their banter. Both are in robes (any sort).</span><span style="color: #444444; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><br />
<span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial;">Set: Anywhere a bench or 2 chairs may be set as a park bench. Action proceeds in dialogue. Script or notes may be hidden in props (newspaper) if used. One friend is already center stage with lights down. Second friend enters as lights come up.</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><br />
<span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial;">Lights up.</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Putz<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Bonehead<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Hey! What happened to Merry Christmas?<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Merry Christmas, Bonehead.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Happy Holy Days, Putz.<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Really, I’m just not in the <i>‘Tis the Season</i> mood yet.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>I get it. Stress, gift lists, one gathering after another.<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
No. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>What?<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I got a part in a Christmas play.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>What? The Grinch?<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Funny. I have been cast as a wise man.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Oh, it’s a comedy?<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Oh, you’re funny.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>You’re the one in the comedy. I guess that explains the getup.<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It’s a wardrobe not a getup.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>What’s that on your backside?<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
[Stands up and looks] What?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>See, I made you get up.<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
You’re not funny.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>A second ago you said that I was.<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Well fine. By the way, what’s with your getup?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>I have a role in a Christmas play as well.<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Really?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Yes, I’m a Maji.<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Do you know what a Maji is?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Somebody like Obe Wan Kinobe or a big shot of sorts. But one that doesn’t have to wear a suit and tie.<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
You’re a wise man.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Thank you. That probably took a lot to admit.<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
No Bonehead! You are a wise man in the play just like me.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>I was counting on getting a lightsaber.<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
You’re probably getting Myrrh.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Why do you say that?<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Because they are giving me the Frankincense and they are not trusting either one of us with the gold.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Do you think we are in the same Christmas play?<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
When is the play?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>The Christmas story is tonight but the part with the Wise Men takes place later.<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
When did they tell you to show up for your part?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>In about 2 years.<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We are in the same play.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Do you think they are trying to tell us something?<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Yes, We should audition for the Grinch in the other Christmas play.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Grinch wan Kenobi. I might still get a lightsaber.<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
What are we going to do to get in the Christmas spirit?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>How about we do the shortest Christmas play ever?<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I don’t know about that.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Yes, you do. Just follow my lead.<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
My insurance doesn’t cover that.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Come on. Join in.<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
Both: <b><i><span style="color: #002060;">The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the one and only Son, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth.<o:p></o:p></span></i></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Merry Christmas, Putz.<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Happy Holy Days, Bonehead.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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Exit<o:p></o:p></div>
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The end.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Tom Spencehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08841244955103492348noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1600755957721593178.post-39654944596693865182018-11-03T10:06:00.000-07:002018-11-03T10:43:13.734-07:00Thanksgiving Mouse 2018<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Thanksgiving Mouse 2018<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Psalm 100<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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Cast: 1 person—adult or youth—who does not mind scurrying around on the stage.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Equipment: Wireless microphone. Costume optional. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Church mouse enters the sanctuary oblivious to the fact there are people in the pews. The mouse is skipping and proclaiming Psalm 100 in its own personal worship service.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<i>Shout for joy to the Lord, all the earth.<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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<i>Worship the Lord with gladness; come before him with joyful songs.<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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<i>Know that the Lord is God. It is he who….</i> [Jumps back, noticing congregation for the first time]<o:p></o:p></div>
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WHOA! It’s you people again. I should know by now that you guys are going to be here Sunday mornings.<o:p></o:p></div>
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But, as you are here and I’m on a roll, listen closely.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<i>It is he who made us and we are his; we are his people, the sheep of his pasture.<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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Man, doesn’t that sound cool. We belong to God. We are really his. [Raises arms palms up to emphasize the question to follow] How can you just sit there?<o:p></o:p></div>
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We should be shouting for joy to the Lord!<o:p></o:p></div>
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[Raising hands to the sky and letting lose with joy]<o:p></o:p></div>
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<i>Shout for joy to the Lord, all the earth.<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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[Back to conversational tone]<o:p></o:p></div>
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Hey! I know every year at this time I drag myself in here because I am stuffed from Halloween candy and can’t talk about anything but turkey sandwiches and dessert crumbs galore under every table. Make no mistake, I’m still loving the holiday dining fare around here.<o:p></o:p></div>
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[Puts index finger to lips as if to whisper]<o:p></o:p></div>
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But I want to let you in on a little secret. Thanksgiving isn’t really about food and football. It’s about, now this is going to be a big concept for you, but if you church mouse can handle it, so can you…<o:p></o:p></div>
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Thanksgiving is about GIVING THANKS! Catch this part.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<i>Enter his gates with thanksgiving and his courts with praise; give thanks to him and praise his name.<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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C’mon guys. When you are here you should be so full of thanksgiving it comes out of you pores. There’s a thought. So thankful that you sweat thanksgiving.<o:p></o:p></div>
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What else is there to say?<o:p></o:p></div>
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[Raising index finger as if to note a point to follow]<o:p></o:p></div>
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How about:<o:p></o:p></div>
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<i>For the Lord is good and his love endures forever; his faithfulness continues through all generations.<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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That’s some good stuff. It’s a psalm worth remembering. You know, most of the time we spend together, I do all of the talking. How about we say Psalm 100 together? Let’s give this a try.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<b><span style="color: #002060;">Psalm 100</span></b><span style="color: #002060;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #002060;">Shout for joy to the Lord, all the earth.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #002060;"> Worship the Lord with gladness;<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #002060;"> come before him with joyful songs.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #002060;"> Know that the Lord is God.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #002060;"> It is he who made us, and we are his;<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #002060;"> we are his people, the sheep of his pasture.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #002060;"> Enter his gates with thanksgiving<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #002060;"> and his courts with praise;<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #002060;"> give thanks to him and praise his name.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #002060;"> For the Lord is good and his love endures forever;<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #002060;"> his faithfulness continues through all generations.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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Wow! I am so glad, so full of joy, and so thankful that I am your church mouse. I am truly blessed. You guys have a great Thanksgiving.<o:p></o:p><br />
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Exit.<o:p></o:p><br />
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The end.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Tom Spencehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08841244955103492348noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1600755957721593178.post-86986367704009287032018-06-11T12:33:00.001-07:002018-06-11T12:33:16.730-07:00Independence Day Mouse 2018<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Independence Day Mouse<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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Proverbs 11:25-26, Luke 12:48, 2 Corinthians 9:8-11<o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">This is a continuation of the Church Mouse monologues. The mouse may be in costume or sport ears to note its rodent status. No props are needed. Some luggage adds to this monologue.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Mouse barges in with much luggage—pull behinds and carry-ons.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Hey Guys! I’m baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Did you think that church cat got me? No chance.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">I couldn’t get in because you guys changed the locks on all the doors. [Long pause.] Just kidding. Locked doors never stopped me before and sure are not stopping me now.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Here’s the deal. I went out to the airstrip, caught me a ride on an airplane, then got on another plane, and then—well you get the picture—I was all over the place.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">I saw me some sights, ate me some foreign food, and got a whole new perspective on a lot of things.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Do you know that I ate better as a church mouse than some people eat in parts of the world? That’s just Crazy.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Do you know that I live better here in America than most people in Bangladesh, Ghana, and even a lot of those countries that end in Stan? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Do you know that in some places, people can’t just walk into a church without fear of being detained or jailed or sometimes killed? That’s just hard to comprehend.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Do you know that not everybody in the world has 3 or 4 Bibles each? Did you know that the people who have a Bible also have a hunger to read it? I’m not picking on your guys, but I have seen a lot of dust on a lot of Bibles in this town.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Did you know that some people in the world don’t like you because you are Americans and others would give all they have to be an American? One thing that I can say is that so many people in the world are interested on what’s happening in America.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">I even stopped in a couple of war zones. You know what the craziest thing was there? Soldiers and Marines sharing their rations with kids. That’s just what they do. Hey, I learned something new there. I learned why they call the Meal Ready to Eat—yes, the MRE—3 lies in 1. It’s not a meal. It’s not ready for anything. And it’s not really edible by human standards.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">But it’s not that bad. The MRE peanut butter and cheese both trade well among the Marines. I liked them both.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Wow! What a trip. I didn’t bring back any souvenirs, but I brought something even better. I brought wisdom. Here it is.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">We are blessed to live in this nation.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">We are blessed to know liberty like no other place on earth.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">We are blessed to live in this part of the greatest nation on earth, a place where we can still proclaim that Jesus is Lord!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">We are so blessed that we can be a blessing to others.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">I think that for all of my travels and everything that I have seen, that one thing really hits home. God has blessed me so much to be your church mouse, and I want to bless others.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">[Starts to walk off the stage…]<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">I do have one complaint. It’s not really that big, well, it is to me. Do you know that when you stowaway on an airplane, you don’t earn miles for that?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">When you are a mouse, it doesn’t really matter <b><i>what’s in your wallet.</i></b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">It is almost time for you guys to celebrate that 4<sup>th</sup> of July thing again. This year, remember that you are blessed to be a blessing! You—we—have so much and so much is expected from us.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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Tom Spencehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08841244955103492348noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1600755957721593178.post-37237958971507888962018-05-14T10:58:00.001-07:002018-05-14T10:58:27.378-07:00Pentecost Mouse<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Pentecost Mouse<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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Acts 1-2, John 14:18<o:p></o:p></div>
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This is a continuation of the <a href="http://shortskits4churches.blogspot.com/2017/11/thanksgiving-mouse-2017.html">Church</a> <a href="http://shortskits4churches.blogspot.com/2017/05/9-11-mouse.html">Mouse</a> <a href="http://shortskits4churches.blogspot.com/2016/12/easter-mouse.html">Monologues</a>. The mouse may be in costume or sport ears to note its rodent status. No props are needed.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Theme to Rocky playing in the background as mouse enters with a bounce in her step. Music stops when mouse reaches center stage.<o:p></o:p></div>
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[Talking excitedly to self] I am so ready to take on the world! No, the kids didn’t spill their energy drinks again. That was a buzz for sure, but this is something different. I can just feel it.<o:p></o:p></div>
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It is as if the Spirit of God is alive in this place. I feel like I could do anything. Well, maybe not spelling and grammar, but you know…<o:p></o:p></div>
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[Looking around] It’s like I’m really alive. There’s life and there’s being alive, and I feel alive.<o:p></o:p></div>
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[Realizes that people are present] Whoa! You people again. I should be used to this by now. After, all I am the church mouse and you are the church people.<o:p></o:p></div>
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OK. Let me just make a public service announcement on behalf of the resident rodent. That would be me if you’re not keeping up.<o:p></o:p></div>
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ON BEHALF OF THE FOUR-LEGGED COMMUNITY, THANK YOU FOR NOT USING TRAPS AND POISON IN THIS FACILITY. ALSO, THANK YOU FOR NOT VACUUMING THE CORNERS AFTER FELLOWSHIP MEALS AS PER THE INSTRUCTIONS IN LEVITICUS, AMENDED FOR RODENTS. <o:p></o:p></div>
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That ends my statement, but I am so glad you are here. I want to talk about this Spirit of God business and you are just the people I need.<o:p></o:p></div>
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So what is it like to have the Spirit of God himself living inside of you? I’m a mouse and I can feel God’s Spirit all over this place, but what is it like to have God’s own Spirit inside of you?<o:p></o:p></div>
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Don’t look at me like that! You have thought about this, haven’t you? Haven’t you?<o:p></o:p></div>
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I’ve been roaming under your pews enough to pick up a few things. Jesus told his disciples that he would not orphan them, but the Spirit of God would come and be with them.<o:p></o:p></div>
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The Day of Pentecost was about the Holy Spirit coming upon those 12 disciples—bet you didn’t think that I knew that Matthias had already been chosen to replace Judas by this time, did you? You don’t always see me but I’m here listening just about every Sunday, and I never miss a fellowship meal or a baby shower.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Pentecost is about the church launching into the world with good news and equipped by the Holy Spirit to help common people do uncommon things.<o:p></o:p></div>
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You get to bring news of life and life eternal to people and God’s Spirit is with you every step of the way. You get to tell people how much God loves them and the Spirit of God is with you the whole time.<o:p></o:p></div>
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I don’t know how you do it, just sitting there so calmly in your pews. The preacher hasn’t even tried to put you to sleep with his sermon yet. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Please tell me that you are not people that lean on their own understanding. I thought I knew you better than that. Trust in the Lord and let his Spirit take the lead. Trust me! I am your church mouse!<o:p></o:p></div>
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Hey! Do this for me. When you sing the first song, let the Spirit take charge of your joyful sound and see what happens. Surrender completely to God’s Spirit and see what happens!<o:p></o:p></div>
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God’s Spirit lives inside of you. [Super exaggerated gestures] How can you not be pumped about that? <o:p></o:p></div>
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Gotta go. The kids had doughnuts today and there is a sugar-fest waiting for me, but the Holy Spirit is waiting on you to let him take the lead in your life.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Exists with a spring in her step to the Theme to Rocky playing. Music stops upon exit.<o:p></o:p></div>
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The end.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Tom Spencehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08841244955103492348noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1600755957721593178.post-62785817986511716102018-02-08T09:33:00.000-08:002019-03-08T05:35:29.694-08:00When did Jesus institute Ash Wednesday?<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Ash Wednesday<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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This short skit is obviously designed to be done on Ash Wednesday or in preparation for an Ash Wednesday service. It requires only 2 people for a short, crisp conversation.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Any stage, set, classroom, or fellowship hall will suffice. The action is in the <i>question and answer</i> conversation.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Hey, when did Jesus institute Ash Wednesday?<o:p></o:p></div>
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<b>He didn’t. It came into practice over a millennium after Jesus ascended into heaven.<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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So, Jesus didn’t do this or even start it. It must be a bad thing. Maybe we shouldn’t do it.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<b>He didn’t drive to worship services either. </b><br />
Jesus took an Uber?<br />
<b>No. He walked. Maybe you should start walking.<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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I don’t see anything wrong with driving to church. I am more likely to go if I drive, especially on a cold or rainy day.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<b>And you might be more likely to truly celebrate Easter—Resurrection Sunday—if you take these 40 days of Lent that begin on Ash Wednesday and give up something that will liberate someone else from their chains—whatever those may be.<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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So, it’s not just an empty ritual?<o:p></o:p></div>
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<b>It is as empty or fulfilling as you make it. God speaking through the prophet Isaiah chastised his people for going through the motions while fasting.<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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You mean like saying you love God but living like everyone else in the world?<o:p></o:p></div>
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<b>Exactly.<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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Sometimes, we Christians need reminders not to just blend into the world.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<b>Yes, we do.<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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Something visible and unique like a personal billboard.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<b>If you say so.<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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I’m just trying to apply some modern thinking to help me remember that I should prepare to celebrate Easter. Just some little reminder to get me back on track.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<b>How about some ashes on your head?<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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That could itch.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<b>How about just on your forehead?<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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That could work.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<b>Stick around. That’s just what we have in store for you!<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>The end.<o:p></o:p></b></div>
Tom Spencehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08841244955103492348noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1600755957721593178.post-20838021631943530562017-12-09T09:58:00.001-08:002017-12-09T09:58:23.731-08:00Grumpiest Old Men<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
Grumpiest Old Men<o:p></o:p></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
Acts 4:36, 1
Thessalonians 5:11<o:p></o:p></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="background: white; color: #444444; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Cast: 2 older men. These
are long time friends with much dryness to their banter.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><br />
<span style="background: white;">Set: Anywhere a bench or 2 chairs may be
set as a park bench. Action proceeds in dialogue. Script or notes may
be hidden in props (newspaper) if used. One <b>friend</b> is already center stage with lights down. Second friend enters as lights come up.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><br />
<span style="background: white;">Lights up.</span></span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
First old man walks up to bench and sees<b> friend</b> already seated.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Putz.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Bonehead.<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
[Takes other seat available]. Whatever.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Why do you have to be
that way?<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Me?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Yes you. Do you have a thorn in your shoe?<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
[Looking directly at his friend]. Yeah, I’ve got a thorn alright.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Stop it. Why is it every time we meet here you are
grumpy?<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Well, you are always in my seat for one thing.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>I didn’t know
that. Would you like to sit here?<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Why yes, I would.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Show up earlier next
time Bonehead</b>. <b>This seat’s taken.</b><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Putz.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
[Momentary pause for the emotions to subside].<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Saw some ducks flying
south yesterday.<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Great.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>They were in a “V”
formation.<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Of course, they were.
They are ducks. They only know so
much alphabet. There is no “W, X, Y or Z”
formation. They are ducks.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>One side of the “V”
was longer than the other.<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Now you are criticizing duck formations?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Just wondering if you
knew why?<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Nobody knows why! Do
you know why one side of the duck “V” is longer than the other?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Of course. There are more ducks on side.<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Bonehead!<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>No, you’re the
bonehead. I’m…<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Putz. I know.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Actually, I think we
are both just a couple of grumpy old men.<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Your grumpier.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Your grumpiest.<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Putz.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Bonehead.<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Enough. I can’t even
remember your real name.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>It’s Barney if you
must know.<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Short for Barnabas?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Yes. Short for Barnabas.<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
OMG.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>You are too old to
OMG me.<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
No, I mean OMG did your parents ever get your name wrong.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>What?<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Barnabas means “Son of Encouragement.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Really?<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
LOL. I know.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>You are too old and
grumpy to LOL me.<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Isn’t it ironic, don’t you think. A little too ironic…<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>How do you know that
Barnabas means “Son of Encouragement?”<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I have been studying my Bible.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Really?<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Yes. I go to a Bible
study group.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>They let you in?<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Sure.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>I don’t believe that.<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
OK. I have to host
the group, make the coffee, have cake and cookies, and clean up when we are
done.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Maybe, if you also
parked their cars and provide a valet service I might believe you.<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I was keeping that part secret.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>I still wouldn’t let
you in my Bible study. <o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
You have a Bible study?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>No, but if I did, there
would be a <i>no bonehead rule</i>.<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Putz.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>What was your Bible
study about?<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This week we read the 5<sup>th</sup> chapter of 1<sup>st</sup>
Thessalonians.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>What was it about?<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We are supposed to encourage one another and build up one
another.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Now there’s your
irony for you.<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
What?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>We are supposed to be
encouraging each other. I think we
missed the boat on that one.<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Not too late to change, is it?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>I don’t know. Should we give it a try.<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
OK. My hope is that
you have a wonderful day and I will see you tomorrow, Putz.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Fair enough. May you get your old bones up early tomorrow and
get here in time to get this seat, Bonehead.<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
[Both stand].<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I think we’ve got the hang of this encouraging stuff.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
[Both walk off stage in separate directions].<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>See you tomorrow,
Bonehead.<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Later, Putz.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
The end.<o:p></o:p></div>
Tom Spencehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08841244955103492348noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1600755957721593178.post-77763245970599152822017-11-21T10:37:00.000-08:002017-11-27T13:34:56.333-08:00Following Jesus<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-size: large;">Following Jesus</span></b><o:p></o:p></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
Matthew 4:18-19, Matthew
11:28-29, Proverbs 3:5-6<o:p></o:p></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="background: white; color: #444444; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Cast: 2 people of any
age or gender. </span>One has just been saved and the other is <b>Jesus</b>.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><br />
<span style="background: white;">Set: Any. Action proceeds in dialogue. Script
or notes may be hidden in props if used. Both begin center stage with
lights down.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><br />
<br />
<span style="background: white;">Lights up.</span></span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Hallelu, Hallelu, Hallelu, Hallelu; praise ye the Lord. Praise ye the Lord, Hallelujah, Praise ye
the…<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>That’s what I like to
see. Real enthusiasm.<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
You would be excited too.
I just got saved.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>I know.<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
What? You weren’t
even there.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Actually, I was.<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Really?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Most definitely.<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
OK. If you say
so. I don’t remember seeing you there.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>I was there.<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
OK. What’s your name
any way?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Some call me
Yeshua. That’s sort of like Joshua. Most people just call me Jesus these days.<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
No way!<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Yes way! Actually, <i>the
way</i>, <i>the truth</i>, and <i>the life</i>.<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Like, <i>the Jesus</i>?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Yes.<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I guess that I should say thanks.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Hmmm… Why is that a guess?<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
What? Oh, I mean, <i>Thank You</i>!<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Good. Now that you have been saved from sin and
death, it’s time to follow me.<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Actually, I have been wanting to talk to you about that.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Really?<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Yes. I thought that
you being Jesus would already know that.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>I do, and I also know
that you have some reservations about this discipleship stuff.<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Do I ever!<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>You love the gift of
eternal life but don’t love it enough to give your life to me as my disciple.<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
That’s a little strong don’t you think?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>How would you word
it?<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Well, I just, you know, I…
I have some more living to do.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>I have some living in
store for you. It’s real living.<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I don’t know that I want to give up everything, at least not
yet.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>So, you think that by
following me, you are giving up something more valuable than what I have to
give?<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Well, when you word it that way…<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>How would you word
it?<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I wish you wouldn’t do that.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>That’s not really
true.<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
What?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>The more that we talk
the more we grow closer.<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Yeah but those questions…<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Are what get us to
the truth.<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
What is this truth?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>That I, we, every
form of God that you understand, love you more than you can understand.<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I think that I get that part, maybe?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>But for you to know
real life, you must step out of your comfort zone and follow me.<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
You mean be your disciple?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Yes.<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But I don’t know…<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>My yoke is easy. My burden is light. You can learn from me.<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>I am not a big fan of
that word.<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It’s one of my favorites.
That and..<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>If only. <o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It seems that you know my deal. So why do you have to press me about this?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>I’m inviting you to
real life. I know it’s the best thing
for you, even when it gets tough.<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Now don’t get me wrong.
I am excited about this not going to hell thing and eternal life and calorie-free
buffets and endless holes in one on the golf course, and…<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Not much of a Bible
reader, are you?<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
You already knew that.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Yes, I did.<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So how do you expect me to step out of my comfort zone?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>One step at a
time. Let’s start with memorizing a verse
from the Proverbs.<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
You’re not going to hit me with fools despise wisdom, are
you?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>No, but it came in a
close second.<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
OK. I’m ready.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Are you?<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
No. Enough with the
questions! They always throw me for a
loop. I need answers.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>I have answers let’s
start with this. Trust in the Lord with
all your heart.<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I know this. And lean
not on your own understanding…<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>In all you ways
acknowledge him,<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And he will make your path straight.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Actually, I like the <i>And he will direct your path’s</i> version.<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Really?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>No. Teasing!!!<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Why would you do that?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Because this whole
following me and trusting in the Lords stuff is good stuff. It’s even fun if you will throw yourself into
it.<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
OK. I’ll try.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>I don’t like that
word either.<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
OK. I <i>will</i> follow you. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Much better. We will talk again soon.<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But…<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>[Jesus stares intently
at the other cast member without saying a word.]<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
OK. No buts. I have decided to follow Jesus. No turning back. No turning back.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
The end.<o:p></o:p></div>
Tom Spencehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08841244955103492348noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1600755957721593178.post-61642664726850208442017-11-07T14:14:00.000-08:002017-11-07T14:14:35.744-08:00Thanksgiving Mouse 2017<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Thanksgiving Mouse 2017<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Philippians 4:6-7, Psalms 107, 118,
136<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Cast: 1 person—adult
or youth—who does not mind scurrying around on the stage.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Equipment: Wireless
microphone. Costume optional<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I can’t believe it!
So my sister-in-law invited me over for Thanksgiving dinner. And me, not thinking, says “yeah sure.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
What was I thinking?
Really, what was I thinking?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So I show up early thinking there will be some good
pre-feast grazing and what do I find?
Health food. Broccoli and carrots—really! We are mice not rabbits.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But I do my best to keep my cool, well…. That is….<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Until they ask me to help get things ready. Hey! I’m
the invited guest here. But now I am
putting out place settings and napkins and tidying up. C’mon now, we are mice not high society. We nibble.
We don’t dine.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And then the coup de grâce (ko͞o′ də gräs′) – that’s COOP
DUH GRASS in these parts, but when you are puttin’ on the Ritz with the in-laws,
well anyway. [Hands up to signal it’s time to get back to the main story].<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
[Shaking head left to right to signal disbelief]. TOFU TURKEY!
Can you believe it. That should
not even be a thing. Tofu turkey. It was
so good to get back here. I hope there
are some scraps of some real food left.
Give me some real Thanksgiving scraps.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I do so love it when the kids kick the piece of banana bread
under the fridge. Or when somehow a
piece of mac and cheese gets missed in the cleanup.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
[Looks at audience and jumps back]. WHAT! You
people again. I just got home and it
seems like I can’t even get a moment alone.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
OMG, OMG, oh, oh, oh…<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I remember last year I talked to you people about being
thankful and here you catch me on my own little rant. I’m dragging my pity party around with me
right in front of you.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Really! I’m the
church mouse and I should know better.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
You know, I think this thanksgiving stuff takes a little
work. I think that we have to get out of
the rut that the world likes to keep us in and just think thankful thoughts all
the time.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Give thanks to the Lord for he is good. Yeah, that’s a good one.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
[Singing.] <i>Give thanks with a grateful heart</i>. I love that song. Maybe I should live that song too.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Here’s a cool Bible verse from the 4<sup>th</sup> chapter of
Philippians. <i>Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and
petition, <b>with thanksgiving</b>, present
your requests to God.<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It’s better with the verse that follows. <i>And the
peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and
your minds in Christ Jesus.</i><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
If I ask God with a spirit of thanksgiving, he can give me
peace in the middle of my problems. Now that’s
no Tofu Turkey. That’s some real meat.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Hey! I gotta go and
find some real food, but I am going to do my best to be thankful every step of
the way.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
[Starts to exit, stops, and looks directly at audience. Raises index finger to signal a major statement
to follow].<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Thanksgiving, it’s not just for turkey day anymore.<o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
Exit.<o:p></o:p></div>
Tom Spencehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08841244955103492348noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1600755957721593178.post-8457796976254552922017-10-31T08:34:00.002-07:002017-10-31T08:34:40.478-07:00Post Game Interview<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Post Game Interview<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
Romans 12:1-3<o:p></o:p></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
Isaiah 40:28-31<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Cast: Two adults of
any age. One is a sideline sportscaster
and the other a coach headed to the locker room for halftime. This could be a stand alone drama, but it is
designed as a follow on to <a href="http://shortskits4churches.blogspot.com/2017/09/game-day.html">Game Day</a> and the <a href="http://shortskits4churches.blogspot.com/2017/09/half-time-interview.html">Half Time Interview</a>.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Set: Anything that
presents a football stadium setting is helpful.
The interview will be standing with the sportscaster holding a
microphone and moving it back and forth with the conversation.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The coach is running off the field with the players at the
end of this contest. Sportscaster
catches the coach running of the field and has a short interview.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Coach! Coach!
Can I get just a few words before you head off to catch up with the team.<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Sure.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>What a game. You must be proud of your players.<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I was really pleased at how everyone pressed on towards the
goal. Past mistakes were just that, in
the past. They kept pressing on.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Reading God’s word,
making joyful sounds, the heart of worship, worshiping in spirit and in truth—I
think your team hit all of these keys to success.<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Yes. We put our
hearts into it.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>I guess it’s time for
a well-deserved rest now.<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Not a chance!<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>What?<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Now is when real worship begins.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>But I thought this
past hour was worship?<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It was and it was good, but most of our worship takes place
outside of this building. Most of our
worship takes place during the rest of the week.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>I didn’t see that
coming so I don’t have any official announcer questions.<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
That’s ok. Our response
to God’s grace and mercy is to worship him all the time. We are told that our entire
lives are to be given to God as a living sacrifice. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><i>Living Sacrifice</i>? You made
that up, right? I have read enough of
the Bible to know that the sacrifice doesn’t get to live.<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
In the Old Testament, sacrifices didn’t get to live; well,
except for the scapegoat—but that’s for another time. But now…<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>[Raises index finger to
interrupt with an epiphany.]<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Because Christ made a
once and for all sacrifice for us we don’t have to make sacrifices every year.<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Correct. We make
sacrifices every day with our lives not our livestock.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>But we get to live?<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
You betcha, we get to live like never before. When we give our lives completely to God, we
live more fully than ever before.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Wow! That’s something.<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
That’s everything.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Coach, just one more
question. I have been broadcasting for
years, but I have never seen a scoreboard.
How do you know who wins?<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
[Big smile and large gestures]<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Don’t you know? The
victory is already won. Before we
stepped foot on the playing field, God had already defeated sin and death with
the blood of Christ. We are already
winners.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Wow! I guess I never thought about how much God
has done for us.<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><br /></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Listen to what the prophet Isaiah says about God:<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Do you not know?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Have you not
heard?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The Lord is the everlasting God,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
the Creator of the
ends of the earth.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
He will not grow tired or weary,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
and his
understanding no one can fathom.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
He gives strength to
the weary<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
and increases the power of the weak.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Hey! I know the rest of that…<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><br /></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b> Even youths grow tired and weary,<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b> and young men stumble and fall;<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b> but those who hope in the Lord<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b> will renew their strength.<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>They will soar on
wings like eagles;<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b> they will run and not grow weary,<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b> they
will walk and not be faint.<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The worship hour is over but our worship is just beginning.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>And while you come to
give your hearts to God, he sends you out to soar on wings like eagles.<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Do you know what the theological term for that is?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>No, what?<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Cool beans.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>[A little perplexed.]<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>That’s not theology,
is it.<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Gotta go. See you
next time.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>[Facing viewing
audience as coach departs]<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>And there you have
it. Living Sacrifice, soaring like
eagles, and cool beans. Worship, it’s not
just for Sunday anymore.<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
The end.<o:p></o:p></div>
Tom Spencehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08841244955103492348noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1600755957721593178.post-69159187513202586032017-09-30T13:19:00.000-07:002017-10-04T11:06:47.255-07:00Half Time Interview<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Half Time Interview<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;">John 4:24<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Cast: Two adults of
any age. One is a sideline sportscaster
and the other a <b>coach</b> headed to the
locker room for halftime. This could be a stand alone drama, but it is designed as a follow on to <i><a href="http://shortskits4churches.blogspot.com/2017/09/game-day.html">Game Day</a></i>.<o:p></o:p><br />
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Set: Anything that
presents a football stadium setting is helpful.
The interview will be standing with the sportscaster holding a
microphone and moving it back and forth with the conversation.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The coach is running off the field with the players. Sportscaster catches the coach running to the
lockeroom and has a short interview.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Coach! Coach, just a
minute.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
[Coach stops running and sportscaster launches into
interview].<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
What a first half.
Are you pleased with how it all went?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>We had some good
moments. We had good participation in
reciting God’s word. We still need to
get everyone involved though. Singing
was good, but still a few not lifting their voices.<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
What else is it going to take to succeed in the second half?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>We need to get to the
heart of what this is all about.<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
You mean the heart of worship that you talked about before?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Yes, but we need to
get to the meat and potatoes of it.<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Just what exactly is the meat and potatoes of the heart of
worship?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Spirit and Truth!<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
What do you mean by that?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Jesus said that God
wants people to worship him in Spirit and in Truth. Those are two big words. Our spirit must seek to connect with God’s
Spirit. We must worship with our very
being.<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And truth?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Our worship must be
genuine. It must not be perfunctory.<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
That’s a big word for a halftime interview.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>I’m sure you audience
has already Googled it.<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’m sure, but for those of us who don’t do that…<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Don’t just go through
the motions. Don’t just log time in the
pew. Don’t just come to a worship
service and start thinking about everything else you could be doing.<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
You mean that when you are here, really be here.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Yes! Think of God calling Moses up the
mountain. They would do some things
during their time on the mountain but God wanted Moses just to be there. God’s saying, come and enjoy this intimate
time with me.<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And in worship, we really connect with God?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Yes, if you worship
in Spirit and in Truth. Gotta get to the
locker room.<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Thanks coach. That’s
something to chew on for sure. God wants
people who will worship him in Spirit and in Truth. Back to the booth.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
The end.<o:p></o:p></div>
Tom Spencehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08841244955103492348noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1600755957721593178.post-63004670814974842182017-09-26T08:33:00.000-07:002017-09-26T08:33:06.263-07:00Game Day<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Game Day<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Hebrews 4:12, Psalm 100, 1 Samuel 16:7<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Cast: Two adults of
any age. One is a sportscaster and the
other a coach.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Set: A table and two
chairs or just two men standing with microphones (real or as props). A sign or banner that reads GAME DAY might
add to the pre-game setting. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Pre-conversation activity could be the sportscaster and
coach greeting each other and taking
their seats or already seated at the table and the sportscaster looking to the
off stage director and whispering “Are we live?” and then kicking off the
program. Lead in music might add to the
game day setting.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This particular drama might also be recorded on video and
played on a screen to give the feeling of viewing at home.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The time has finally come.
It is the season opener for Wednesday evening worship. What are the keys to victory this evening, coach?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Here’s what I’m
calling the holy trinity of worship success.<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
That’s catchy.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>I hope it catches
on. First in this threesome of worship
things to get right is the reading of God’s word aloud. We are supposed to read his holy word all
week long, but when we come together, there is nothing like reading it aloud.<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
That is powerful.
Could it get any better?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Absolutely. Sometimes we read it aloud together. Sometimes we say it aloud because God’s holy
word is written in our hearts.<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
You are talking about memorizing scripture.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Talking about
it? We are doing it. There are millions of people who just talk
about doing things. We do them.<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
OK. What’s next.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Next, we lift our
voices to the Lord. We make joyful
sounds. <o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So just throw in a little music to accompany everything
else?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>No, we don’t just
throw in anything. Lifting our voices to
the Lord is essential to worship. It is
not a sound track that accompanies the important stuff. It is important stuff.<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
For those who are musically inclined anyway.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Every living thing
needs to cry out in joy to the Lord, especially those of us who are the crown
of his creation. We may not hit every
note just right but our hearts are perfectly tuned to please God when our words
are offered with joy.<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I don’t mean to pick at you coach, but it seems that a lot
of people are sitting this part out, or standing it out. They stand up but it seems like they can’t
wait for the song to end.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>You’re right. They look at worship like a buffet, skipping
over the parts they are not interested in and filling up on something else.<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Like the sermon or the prayer?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Sometimes that’s what
they are waiting for—you do occasionally get a joke or two thrown in the sermon—but
sometimes their minds and their hearts are set upon things of the world. They are in the worship service but they are
NOT IN THE WORSHIP SERVICE! They just
can’t wait to get this singing stuff over with.<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
That’s got to be a challenge.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>It is, but that’s
what we coaches signed up for.<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So what’s number three in your worship coaching trinity?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>A heart of worship.<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
That’s different. You
can tell if people read or if they sing, but how do you coach this?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>That one is all in
God’s hands. He knows the heart.
Sometimes people will be lifting their hands and jumping up and down
with the music but their heart knows it’s all for their own attention. Sometimes people don’t seem to be into what’s
happening, but their hearts are perfectly tuned into the Lord.<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So we don’t judge by what’s on the outside?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Not here. God sees the heart. If we were playing baseball, then you had
better pay attention to what’s happening on the outside or you get called on
three pitches or picked off on first or…<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Got it, coach. So
read, sing, and have a heart for worship—is that all you need?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>There’s more, but you
must master the basics first.<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
That’s all the time we have right now. Maybe we can talk more at half time.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Looking forward to
it.<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
The end.<o:p></o:p></div>
Tom Spencehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08841244955103492348noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1600755957721593178.post-9635250356431585522017-06-22T12:12:00.000-07:002017-07-07T12:19:21.908-07:00Walking Around Jericho<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Walking Around Jericho<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><br /></span></b></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Joshua 6:1-20<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;">1 Corinthians 15:57<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Cast: 2 people of any age or gender. <br />
Set: Any. Action proceeds in dialogue. Clipboards or professional notebooks can be used to hide scripts or cheat sheets. Both begin center stage with lights down.<br />
<br />
Lights up.<br />
<br />
P1: What a day.<br />
P2: What’s up?<br />
P1: I need God’s help with so many things but it’s like I have to wait.<br />
P2: So you are walking around Jericho.<br />
P1: I am not walking anywhere. What are you talking about?<br />
P2: When Joshua led the people into the Promised Land, God told him to march around the city of Jericho every day with all of the Israelite people.<br />
P1: So God told Joshua to “Take a lap?”<br />
P2: Sort of, but he had to bring everyone with him. The priests and the ark of the covenant in front and everyone else was following.<br />
P1: That was Joshua’s battle plan?<br />
P2: No, that was God’s.<br />
P1: Take a lap, that was God’s plan?<br />
P2: Well, it was a lap a day for 6 days, trumpets blaring but nobody saying much.<br />
P1: What happened then?<br />
P2: Day 7 of course.<br />
P1: You’re cute.<br />
P2: My grandmother thinks so.<br />
P1: What happened?<br />
P2: On the 7th day, the people circled the city 7 times, with 7 priests walking with the ark, and after the 7th lap on the 7th day…<br />
P1: That’s a lot of 7’s.<br />
P2: And then Joshua told everyone to shout at once.<br />
P1: Shout what?<br />
P2: A battle cry, of course.<br />
P1: What’s a battle cry?<br />
P2: You know, like, “Go Sooners!”<br />
P1: I’ll bet half of them said, “Go Pokes!”<br />
P2: OK, sure.<br />
P1: What happened?<br />
P2: The walls of the mighty city came tumbling down.<br />
P1: Wow.<br />
P2: Wow!<br />
P1: And your point in my case is that God may want me to walk around in circles for 6 days before anything happens?<br />
P2: It could be 6 or 60 or 600, but a day will come with a bunch of 7’s where God takes care of what you are dealing with.<br />
P1: If it were only a city to attack, but these are modern times. I need modern day help from God.<br />
P2: Don’t we all, but we need to understand that we already have victory today. It’s not really about 6’s and 7’s.<br />
P1: I don’t understand.<br />
P2: You are trusting in God, right?<br />
P1: Yes, absolutely.<br />
P2: Then you---we already have victory in Jesus. The biggest battle of our lives is won.<br />
P1: Yeah, OK, but…<br />
P2: Say this verse with me to help understand how we cope in today’s world.<br />
P1: Let’s go.<br />
P2: Thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.<br />
P1: OK.<br />
P2: Say it with me.<br />
P1 & P2: Thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.<br />
<br />
P1 & P2 [to audience]: Say it with us.<br />
<br />
Thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.<br />
Thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.<br />
<br />
P2: One more time.<br />
<br />
Thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.<br />
<br />
P1: Amen!<br />
<br />
P1 & P2 walk off stage together [any direction] saying the verse as they walk.<br />
<br />
Thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.<br />
Thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.<br />
<br />
The end.<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
</div>
Tom Spencehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08841244955103492348noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1600755957721593178.post-89324774778260416152017-05-23T17:12:00.002-07:002017-05-23T17:12:58.826-07:00Just Say No!<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Just Say No!<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
Living for God’s
Purpose<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Cast: Two men or two
women who are friends. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Set: Any stage. One
of the friends (P1) needs a smart phone.
The action is entirely in dialogue. Both begin center stage.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Lights up.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
P1: I’m am so
busy. I don’t know what I am going to
do?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
P2: You do seem a
little frazzled.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
P1: I don’t know what
to do. I don’t know if I even have time
to talk right now.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
P2: That’s too busy.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
P1: I know [phone
rings]. I’ve got to take this.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
P2: Sure.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
P1 [To phone]:
Hello. Oh sure. I can do that. Alright, put me down for that too. Cool.
Later.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
P2: So did I just
hear you sign up for two or was it three more things that you don’t have time
to do?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
P1: Yeah, I think, I
don’t know. There’s no way I can do all
of this.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
P2: Why don’t you say
“No” to some of these things?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
P1: Are you kidding?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
P2: No.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
P1: But you can’t
just say no, can you?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
P2: Yes, you can say
no.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
P1: That’s easy for
you to say.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
P2: It’s easier now
than it used to be.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
P1: What do you mean?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
P2: I mean that I
used to be you until I learned to say “No.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
P1: You mean like
saying no to drugs or staying out too late or decaffeinated coffee?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
P2: No, well except
the decaf bit. Really, what’s the point?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
P1: Other than the
decaf, what do you say no to?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
P2: The Friendly
People Place of Prominence wanted me to be on their board of directors.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
P1: Oh, you would be
so good at that! You really didn’t say
no did you?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
P2: Yes, I said no.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
P1: OK, I can see
that. You are the chairman of the board
at the regional food bank. I guess one
board is enough.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
P2: It’s not that.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
P1: No?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
P2: See you can say
no. Now practice just saying it and not
making it into a question.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
P1: Yeah, OK,
whatever, but what did you mean by “It’s not that?”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
P2: I could handle
another two or three board positions, but I say no unless they are aligned with
my purpose in life.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
P1: You have a
purpose in life?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
P2: Yes. So do you.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
P1: I don’t know
about that. It seems that I’m too busy
to have a purpose.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
P2: Maybe if you knew
your purpose you wouldn’t be so busy.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
P1: Really? I don’t see how that could help.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
P2: It’s simple,
really. Knowing you purpose empowers you
to say no to everything else that you know you don’t need to be giving your
time and effort to.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
P1: I need that. [Picks up phone to use app]. Can I get it with
one-click? I am so busy, I hope that I can
use one-click. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
P2: You don’t order
it. You just understand it.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
P1: Now you’ve lost
me.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
P2: I know. Listen now, this is really important. God has really good plans for you. I mean he wants to prosper you and give you
this incredible thing call hope. God is
sooooo invested in your future.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
P1: That’s cool, but
what about this purpose stuff?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
P2: God has given you
a unique design to do some things so well.
He wants you to pour yourself into living as the person that he made you
to be.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
P1: That’s great, but
I don’t have time to add one more thing to my…<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
P2: You mean like you
just added two or three things a moment ago?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
P1: Yeah, like that.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
P2: Then stopping
adding and start saying “No” to the things that are not what God made you to
do.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
P1: I don’t know
which things to say yes to and which to say no to—I don’t know where to start.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
P2: Let’s start by
getting up 15 minutes early tomorrow and just listen to God.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
P1: You mean
pray. I do that. I pray that I don’t go crazy. I pray that other people are paying attention
when I drive because I sometimes get distracted trying to keep up with my
appointments. I pray that the line at
the store is short because I really don’t have time for that.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
P2: I mean pray, but
just say, “Hello” to God and then spend the rest of the time listening.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
P1: And God is going
to speak to me.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
P2: More than
that. His Spirit is going to let you
know when to say no.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
P1: One 15-minute
listening session is going to take care of this?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
P2: NO!
One 15-minute listening session is going to get things started. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
P1: I need something that works now. I don’t have time for more than one session.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
P2: And you never will the way you are going.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
P1: [Sarcastically]. Thanks for
the encouragement.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
P2: If you will listen to God and trust him, he
will reveal to you who he made you to be.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
P1: And my purpose?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
P2: Yes.
There is some mystery with God but mostly he tells us everything that we
need to know and do.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
P1: And not do.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
P2: And say no to. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
P1. “No”, you know I like that word. Just say no!<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
P2: Yes, you will be able to say “No” whenever you
know you should.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
P1: How do you know so much about saying no. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
P2: Because I know the One who tells me when to
say no.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
P1: I want to know him and say no to everything
that doesn’t get me closer to him.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
P2: That’s great!
Hey, do you want to help me paint the rocks in front of my house this
evening?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
P1: Sure, I mean “No!” Who paints rocks, anyway?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
P2: I don’t know.
I was just giving you a little warm up exercise for later.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
P1: And I said “NO!”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
P2: Good for you.
[Baiting P1]. <i>I guess I will have to do it all myself…<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
P1: Nice try.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
P2: Good job.
I’m here for you as you work your way into saying <b>yes</b> to your purpose and <b>no</b>
to the other stuff.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Lights down.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The end.<o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
Tom Spencehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08841244955103492348noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1600755957721593178.post-85721883973912933442017-05-23T16:48:00.000-07:002017-05-23T16:48:50.557-07:00Designated Bible Thumper<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Designated Bible
Thumper<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="text-align: center;">
Matthew
7:1-6<o:p></o:p></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="text-align: center;">
1
Thessalonians 4:11-12<o:p></o:p></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="text-align: center;">
James
5:19-20<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Cast: Two men or
women who are friends. One is exploring
Christianity (P1) and the other is a long time Christian (P2).<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Set: Any set. Action proceeds entirely in dialogue.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Both men begin the scene center stage in pantomime of
conversation with the lights down. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Lights up.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
P1: That Bible of
yours is confusing.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
P2: I see. I’m guessing that you read something that you
can’t figure out.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
P1: No. I read several things that don’t seem to go
together.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
P2: OK. Let’s see what we can figure out, but first,
it’s not that Bible of mine.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
P1: You know what I
mean, that Bible that you people refer to all the time.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
P2: It is for you
too.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
P1: I don’t know
about that. I have been reading it and I
think you can have my copy.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
P2: Hmmm, let’s see
what’s got you stumped.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
P1: Like I said, it’s
not just one thing. It seems like some
things just don’t jive.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
P2: Let’s see what
doesn’t jive.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
P1: OK, this guy name
Paul who used to go by Saul—must have been on the run from the law or
something, told people in Thessalonica to mind their own business. Now that’s sound advice, just ask any mother
or teacher.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
P2: First, Paul had a
lot to say about the law but he wasn’t on the run from it. Next, it seems that you agree with what he
had to say.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
P1: Yes, but then
this guy named James says if you get into somebody’s business when they get off
course, then that’s a good thing.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
P2: It is a good
thing.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
P1: But what about
minding your own business?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
P2: That’s a good
thing as well, but if I saw you drowning would you want me to mind my own
business and watch you die or would you want to practice my life saving
techniques and bring you to the safety of the shore.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
P1: Who wouldn’t want
to be rescued, but this James character says he is talking about turning a
sinner from the error of his ways. That
sounds like judging and I read that we should not judge others unless we too
want to be judged.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
P2: First of all, let
me say that I am proud of you for reading your Bible. These are good thoughts!<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
P1: I thought that
you would be upset with me for disrespecting your Bible.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
P2: You are just
wrestling with things that every believer has to sort out. OK, let’s go back to rescuing a drowning
man. The lifeguard has to make an
assessment before committing to rescue.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
P1: What?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
P2: Is he really drowning? If he is, then he must be ready to get
physical—to take hold of the man and forcefully pull him to safety. A drowning person is governed by panic and
will pull the rescuer under if a casual rescue is attempted. In some case, it’s necessary to knock out the
drowning person so he does not drown both of them.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
P1: Is that why they
call you Bible-Thumpers—you go around knocking people out with your Bibles.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
P2: Not exactly.
Have I ever thumped you with my Bible?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
P1: No.
You just keep inviting me to worship and to this thing you call the
truth.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
P2: That’s right.
I can’t thump righteousness into you, but if I were to try, know that I
would use my Amplified Version.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
P1: Yeah, OK, I think that was you being funny,
but what about judging?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
P2: Don’t judge anyone so as to condemn
them. We are not entitled to condemn
another person. Jesus died to take away
the sin of every person on the planet, past and present—permanently.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
P1: Wow! Now that is some propitiation with
alliteration!<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
P2: How do you know that word? Most people don’t use propitiation in daily
conversation.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
P1: I have been studying. Let me see if I understand all of this, or at
least these things that we have been talking about.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 96.15pt; tab-stops: 96.15pt; text-indent: -96.15pt;">
P2: Hit me with your best shot.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
P1: In as much as possible, I should lead a quiet
life and try to get along with others and tend to my own business—like staying
away from gossip and the like.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
P2: Yes.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
P1: Unless someone who is a believer is headed
down the wrong path and doesn’t seem to be able to get back on course by
himself. Then it’s OK to get into his
business so long as I do it out of love and not self-righteousness.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
P2: Wow! I
don’t think you are confused at all.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
P1: It actually made sense to me, but I needed to
bounce it off a, err, off a…<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
P2: Bible Thumper?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
P1: Yeah, a Bible Thumper. Do you mind me calling you that?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
P2: I prefer disciple or Christian, but if it
keeps you reading your Bible, I will be your designated Thumper.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
P1: Cool.
I’m wanting to read more. I don’t
know what it is.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
P2: My turn to lay a label on you.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
P1: Go for it.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
P2: You are hungry for God’s word.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
P1: That’s it.
I’m hungry for God’s word. Hey,
did you know it seems like it is living and active? I mean more than ordinary words.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Both start to walk off the stage
together.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
P2: I’m going to enjoy being your designated
Bible Thumper. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
P1: Let’s go read something!<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Lights down.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
The end.<o:p></o:p></div>
Tom Spencehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08841244955103492348noreply@blogger.com0