Grumpiest Old Men
James Wrap Up
Cast: 2 older men. These
are longtime friends with much dryness to their banter. This cast also includes a cameo appearance by
the Church Mouse.
Set: Anywhere a bench or 2 chairs may be set as a park bench. Action proceeds in dialogue. Script or notes may be hidden in props (newspaper) if used. Both enter stage walking towards each other.
Lights up.
[Dragging himself across the stage as if it was the end of
the world] Putz
Bonehead
Morrrrning
What’s up with you
I fell off a 60-foot ladder.
And you are still walking?
Yeah, I was just on the first rung.
[Shaking head in disgust, then recomposing for the
conversation] Do you remember when…
I’m sure I do. I have
the memory of an elephant.
Really?
Yeah, when I was 11 years old, I went to the zoo and saw an elephant. I still remember it.
I can see how I put up with you, but I don’t know how your
wife does.
Easy. I am a whiz
come romancing time.
Really?
Take this last Valentine’s Day.
I thought you thought that was a big commercial scam?
Yeah, but it has its
benefits.
Oh?
I’m in Walmart thinking of what I could get her.
Man, you go all out.
So, I thought, I could get her 2 roses for five bucks or a
whole rotisserie chicken.
And?
She got a wing and a leg.
Took care of the romancing and dinner all in one deal.
You are a nut!
No, I went back on February 15th and got her some
half price candy.
Did she get you anything?
Well, yeah! She got
me the link on how to climb a 60-foot ladder all the way to the top.
Priceless!
That’s right, you don’t have to pay for those links. That was some good shopping.
Have you tried to climb that ladder yet?
No, she had some papers I have to sign first. It has to do with climbing the ladder.
Papers?
The were AD&D papers.
She said it was the Adult Domestic Device warranty papers. I think it’s a federal law or and OSHA thing something like
that.
Yeah, something like that. Did you sign them?
Yep.
I think AD&D stands for Accident Death and
Dismemberment.
Whatever. She just
said reach for the stars. I knew that
rotisserie chicken would win her over.
ENTER THE CHURCH MOUSE
HEY GUYS!
What?
What?
Hey! It’s that church
mouse.
HEY! IT’S THOSE TWO
GRUMPY MEN FROM CHURCH!
Grumpy?
Grumpy?
THIS IS COMING AS A SURPRISE TO YOU?
Well.
I don’t, well…
I THOUGHT YOU GUYS WERE SUPPOSED TO BE TALKING ABOUT THE
BOOK OF JAMES ALL MONTH LONG.
I think we were talking about the letter to Ephesus in
Revelation.
What?
Remember the height from which you have fallen and repent!
YOU GUYS ARE THE PERFECT OBJECT LESSONS FOR WHAT NOT TO DO!
What!
What!
DO YOU REMEMBER THE CHARGE TO BE DOERS OF THE WORD?
Yeah, of course, I remember.
I have the memory of an elephant.
WHAT?
[Holding up both hands palms forward] Don’t go there.
YEAH, OK, BUT INSTEAD OF SPENDING ALL OF YOUR TIME ON THIS
BENCH DISCUSSING ALL MANNER OF THINGS INSIGNIFICANT, YOU COULD BE INVESTING YOUR
TIME PUTTING YOUR MASTER’S WORDS INTO PRACTICE.
Now we are dealing with an investment mouse.
Maybe she can teach you to climb the ladder of success.
I think you just want my wife to collect that AD&D
money. I’m staying off any ladders for a
while.
DID YOU GUYS LEARN ANYTHING THIS PAST MONTH?
Yes: Powerful
Yes: Effective
WHAT?
The prayers of a righteous person are powerful…
And effective.
OK. SO HOW DOES THIS
AFFECT YOUR LIFE?
The more that people get to know us…
The more people who know us say, “I’ll pray for you guys!”
We have been effectively powered by prAyer.
YEAH, OK. GOTCHA. I’VE
GOT TO GO. I HEARD THERE WAS A BIG MEAL
IN THE MAKIN’ SO I’VE GOT PLANS TO MAKE TO GET ME ENOUGH FOOD FOR A WEEK.
Plans. Did she
say plans?
You lay those plans at the feet of Jesus. You submit those plans to him.
I KNOW. IF THE
LORD WILLS IT. I’M THERE EVERY
SUNDAY AND I DO PAY ATTENTION.
MOUSE EXITS.
I have to go too.
Plans to make?
Nope. I still have
half of a rotisserie chicken to eat.
Anything else?
And a ladder to sell.
Both exit.
The end.
No comments:
Post a Comment