Judge Not

Judge Not

Cast:  1 man or woman.  This will be monologue and pantomime with very few props.  Expressions and over exaggeration essential.

Set:  Any stage.  Set is to be a living room.  1 chair required for sitting. Doors and windows to be pantomimed.  1 Box containing a long scarf setting on audience side of invisible door. 

[Stares as if looking out a window.]

Would you look at those yahoos.  I can’t believe it.  Who taught them?  I would like to give them a piece of my mind.  What I ought to do is get my hands around the neck of that one.  He ‘s got to be the ring leader.

[Sits and picks up newspaper, opens, and flips to a spot to read.]

Morons!  You think they could get one thing right, but noooooooooo they can’t.  Someone out to choke them.

[Looks stage front-left.]  What’s that noise at the door?

[Opens door and sees a package.]  How did that get there? 

[Looks up.]  Maybe they are delivering by drones.  I heard about that.  [Takes package inside and closes door.]  Let’s see what we have here.

[Opens package to reveal a scarf.]  Oh that looks nice.

[Wraps around neck.  Models the scarf in a pretend mirror.] Now I am styling.

[Turns quickly towards window and looks out intently.]  Oh those people have another thing coming.  Who do they think they are to do that in this neighborhood?  They better hope that I don’t get my hands on them.

[Reaches up to grab scarf as if it is choking—actually tightens it a bit to make it look tighter around neck.]  What’s happening?

[Gasping a little.]  It’s too tight.

[Looking out window again.]  They are still at it.  Who do they think they are?

[Scarf gets even tighter.]  Why is this thing choking me?  Who sent me this?

[Picks up package and finds invoice.]  Matthew 7 Scarf - - Non-returnable.  What in the world is this?

[Looks out window again.]  I am going to wring their necks!

[Grabs neck almost passing out.  Sits in chair to catch breath.  Reads back of invoice.]

Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.

[Catching breath as scarf loosens.]

I don’t like this.  I don’t like this one bit.  Not the fashion mind you.  I don’t like applying the same standards of judgment to myself that I apply to others.

But it makes sense.  It makes all kinds of sense.  How can I walk around all day in God’s grace—forgiveness that I didn’t deserve but received anyway—and judge everyone else so capriciously. 

[Breathing easier now.]  I have read that verse a hundred times—really.  I have even quoted it to others.  Ooooooh, that might have been hypocritical, but I have never really applied it to myself.

I think that I am going to be a little more thoughtful before I judge another person and I am most definitely going to be very careful about anything that shows up on my doorstep delivered by a drone.

[Stands, fixes scarf, looks in mirror, smiles and exits.]

The end.