Christmas Mouse 2019

Christmas Mouse

Christmas 2019

John 1:14

Cast:  1 person—adult or youth—who does not mind scurrying around on the stage.

Equipment:  Wireless microphone.  Costume optional.

Church mouse enters—makes a bold entrance into the sanctuary—and is very much aware and expecting to see that there are people in the pews.  The mouse has something to say to those present and dives right into the monologue.

I knew that you guys would be here and that the food would be excellent.  I didn’t even wait for you guys to drop something on the floor.  While nobody was looking, I scarfed down two deviled eggs.  Nobody will notice after the first few people go through the line.

You guys are no surprise to me anymore.  I’ve got you figured out, especially at this time of year, and because I knew you would be here, I thought you deserved something extra.  Here we go.

[Mouse goes into standup routine].

So, why is 6 afraid of 7?  Because 7 ate (8) 9.

As I was going to St. Ives, I met a man with 7 wives, 7 wives with 7 sacks, 7 sacks with 7 cats:  How many were going to St. Ives?

Why only 1, just me.  I was going to St. Ives.  The rest were headed the other way.

How many of each type of animal did Moses put on the Ark?  None.  Noah loaded the ark.  Gotcha!

You might have to think about this one.  You are heading into a very dark cave.  You have a candle, a torch, and a lantern, but you only have 1 match.  Which do you light first?

Why the match, of course.

[Over acting, taking bows, feeling good about himself]

Well, I hope you enjoyed the show.  It was my present to you.  But here’s the thing, I would like you to give me a present this year.  It’s not that I am not grateful for those 2 slices of banana bread that you forgot dropped on the floor last week.  I was very thankful for those.

Here is what I would like you to give me and others this year. 

Share the love of God wherever you go.

Live in the favor of God and invite others to join you.

And sing Happy Birthday to Jesus this year.  He is the reason that you are all here.  He is the reason that you may know joy in your heart.

Let’s just sing it now.

[Bold hand gestures as if leading the choir or orchestra]

Happy birthday to you.

Happy birthday to you.

Happy birthday dear Jesus,

Happy birthday to you.

You have heard the traditional Christmas story.  Now listen to the shortest Christmas story.

The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the one and only Son, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth.

May God bless you each and every one.

Exit

The end.

Grumpiest Old Men Stop Grumbling

Grumpiest Old Men

Philippians 2:14-16

Cast:  2 older men. These are longtime friends with much dryness to their banter.

Set:  Anywhere a bench or 2 chairs may be set as a park bench.  Action proceeds in dialogue.  Script or notes may be hidden in props (newspaper) if used.  One friend is already center stage with lights down.  The second friend enters as lights come up.

Lights up.

The first old man walks up to bench and sees friend already seated.

Putz

Bonehead

Cut me some slack

Why? What?

Then don’t.  Just be that way.

Man, you’ve got it bad this morning.

Tell me about it.

Since I don’t know what’s eating you, why don’t you tell me.

OK, if I have to.

Well, you don’t have to, but…

I knew it.  Not even my best buddy wants to hear what’s going on.

That’s not what I said.

Now you’re even kicking me to the curb.

What in tarnation are you talking about?

The preacher has us memorizing words out of the Bible.

You mean scripture?

Yeah.  That’s it.

Doesn’t sound that bad.

Well you’re not the one having to use the extra brain cells.

I can see how that might be challenging to you.

Now you’re picking on me.

I always pick on you and at you.  That’s what we do.

Whatever.

Why don’t you tell me what you are supposed to memorize?

Yeah, OK.  I’ve got it here somewhere.

Go ahead.

It’s Philippians 2:14.

What does Philippians 2:14 say?

[Mumbling]  Do everything without grumbling or arguing

What?  Stop mumbling.

So you want me to stop mumbling and God’s word says stop grumbling.  This is cutting into my persona.

Yeah, OK.  Say the verse again.

Do everything without grumbling or arguing.

Hey, I remember that verse.

Great, now I’m a dummy for not knowing it.

No, no, no.  It’s the start of a much larger thought.

There’s more?

Of course, there is more.  The Bible is more than just a bunch of one-liners.

So what’s the more?

Listen to this:  Do everything without grumbling or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, “children of God without fault in a warped and crooked generation.” Then you will shine among them like stars in the sky as you hold firmly to the word of life.

That’s pretty cool.  I wonder why we don’t memorize the whole thing?

Look how much you grumbled over a few words to memorize.

Point taken.  But if we aren’t arguing and complaining, what will we talk about?

That will cut into our lifestyle.

That’s for sure.

How about we talk about shining like stars in a world that’s a complete mess?

You and me shining like stars?

Yep!

I can dig it.  Let’s shine all day long, everywhere we go, with everyone we see…

Whoa.  Hold your horses, let’s not go overboard!

Quit grumbling about it.  Don’t you read your Bible?  No grumbling!

[Raising hands in surrender]  OK!  Let’s shine like stars.

Exit.

The end.