Grumpiest Old Men - The Wise Men

Grumpiest Old Men

The Wise Men

Cast:  2 older men. These are longtime friends with much dryness to their banter.  Both are in robes (any sort).

Set:  Anywhere a bench or 2 chairs may be set as a park bench.  Action proceeds in dialogue.  Script or notes may be hidden in props (newspaper) if used.  One friend is already center stage with lights down.  Second friend enters as lights come up.

Lights up.

Putz

Bonehead

Hey!  What happened to Merry Christmas?

Merry Christmas, Bonehead.

Happy Holy Days, Putz.

Really, I’m just not in the ‘Tis the Season mood yet.

I get it.  Stress, gift lists, one gathering after another.

No. 

What?

I got a part in a Christmas play.

What?  The Grinch?

Funny.  I have been cast as a wise man.

Oh, it’s a comedy?

Oh, you’re funny.

You’re the one in the comedy.  I guess that explains the getup.

It’s a wardrobe not a getup.

What’s that on your backside?

[Stands up and looks]  What?

See, I made you get up.

You’re not funny.

A second ago you said that I was.

Well fine.  By the way, what’s with your getup?

I have a role in a Christmas play as well.

Really?

Yes, I’m a Maji.

Do you know what a Maji is?

Somebody like Obe Wan Kinobe or a big shot of sorts.  But one that doesn’t have to wear a suit and tie.

You’re a wise man.

Thank you.  That probably took a lot to admit.

No Bonehead!  You are a wise man in the play just like me.

I was counting on getting a lightsaber.

You’re probably getting Myrrh.

Why do you say that?

Because they are giving me the Frankincense and they are not trusting either one of us with the gold.

Do you think we are in the same Christmas play?

When is the play?

The Christmas story is tonight but the part with the Wise Men takes place later.

When did they tell you to show up for your part?

In about 2 years.

We are in the same play.

Do you think they are trying to tell us something?

Yes, We should audition for the Grinch in the other Christmas play.

Grinch wan Kenobi.  I might still get a lightsaber.

What are we going to do to get in the Christmas spirit?

How about we do the shortest Christmas play ever?

I don’t know about that.

Yes, you do.  Just follow my lead.

My insurance doesn’t cover that.

Come on.  Join in.

Both:  The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the one and only Son, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth.

Merry Christmas, Putz.

Happy Holy Days, Bonehead.

Exit

The end.