One Bride for Seven Brothers

One Bride for Seven Brothers

Matthew 21:23-33

Cast:  4 men dressed as Sadducees.  They could be in robes or bright clothing, even a little bling to add to their display of wealth.  Most of the speaking parts are between Sadducees #1 and #2.  Sadducees 3 & 4 follow the conversation intently by leaning in and nodding agreement or reacting with shock where appropriate until time to insert their brief comments.

Set:  Any.  Dialogue and gesturing move the action.

All 4 Sadducees come onto the stage singing and dancing to the tune of “We are Family.”  Even though they are singing, their heads are hanging and they look defeated.

We are Sadducees.  We say the resurrection wont’ be.

That’s why we are sad you see.  All seven brothers and me.

#1  I can’t believe that didn’t work.

#2  You’re telling me.  It drives the Pharisees crazy.  Every time it works with them.

#1  It’s never let us down before.  I was just sure after Jesus took that coin and said to render unto Caesar that which is Caesar’s and unto God that which is God’s, he would have been on an emotional high and vulnerable to the 7 brothers quandary.

#2  He sure showed the Pharisees.

#1  We should have been able to catch him off guard.

#2  You would think we would have had him hook, line, and sinker, but…

#1  Was it the way I posed the question?

#2  No!  You were on the money.  A man died without children so his next oldest brother took his wife and he died without children, so the next oldest took her as his wife and he died without children.

#1  All the way through 7 brothers.  This is the law of Moses.  It was the perfect trap.

#2  Except that it wasn’t.  Did you hear the guy in the back?

 #1  Oh yeah, the smart Alec who said that those had to be the most ignorant brothers on the planet.  You would think after the third brother the rest would get wise.  Marry this girl and you will die young.  Better to make a sin offering and stay single and alive.  Yeah, I heard him.

#2  I think that everybody heard him, but he kind of had a point. 

#1  Stop it!  We made this story up to frustrate the Pharisees.  These are not real brothers.

#2  OK. But the seven made-up-brothers story didn’t work with Jesus.  Where did we go wrong?

#1  First of all, he said that we were wrong about the resurrection.  Who does he think he is?

#3  Some people say that he is a prophet or even the Messiah.

#4  What if he is the Son of God?

#1  Cool it.  We are right about there being no resurrection. 

#3  But he said we would be like angels.

#4  Not angels but like them.

#3  And marriage just wasn’t a thing.

#1  I said, enough!

#2  There is the whole God of the living not the dead deal.

#1  Don’t remind me.

#2  Too late.

#1  I can’t get those words out of my mind:  But about the resurrection of the dead—have you not read what God said to you, I am the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob? He is not the God of the dead but of the living.

#2  What can we say to that?

#1  Exactly.  What can we say to that.

#2  You know how the Pharisees are always using the play on words with us?

#1  You mean where they say the Sadducees don’t believe in the resurrection, that’s why they are SAD YOU SEE.

#2.  Yeah, that’s the one.  What if there is a resurrection?  Wouldn’t that be something good?

#1  You mean agreeing with the Pharisees?  I’ll have none of it!

#2  What if we didn’t agree with the Pharisees so much as we did with this fellow called Jesus?  Would that be so bad.

#1  The people were amazed at his teachings.     

#2  And we have read what God said.  I am the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob.

#1  I am and not I was.  Wow, that’s some heavy thinking.  It’s like God still has a relationship with Abraham.

#3  And Isaac.

#4  And Jacob.

#2  What if he is I Am or sent from I Am?

#1  God save us if he is!

# 2, 3, & 4 (together):  God save us if he is!

All exit the stage in pantomime of further discussion.

The end.

Paying Taxes

Paying Taxes

Matthew 22:15-22

Cast:  4 men dressed as Pharisees.  They could be in robes or bright clothing but all must have some sort of small box strapped to their forehead.  Most of the speaking parts are between Pharisee #1 and #2.  Pharisees 3 & 4 follow the conversation intently by leaning in and nodding agreement or reacting with shock where appropriate.

Set:  Any.  Dialogue and gesturing move the action.

Group of Pharisees (#2, #3, & #4) already on stage begin singing and dancing to the tune of “We are Family.”

We are Pharisees.  We wear our phylacteries.

We are Pharisees.  We’re just men, no sisters, you see.

We are Pharisees…

Enter Pharisee 1 (Looking disheveled with phylactery hanging to the side, hair messed up, and head hanging).

#2:  Dude!  What’s up.

#1:  You wouldn’t believe it.

#2:  Try us.

#1:  OK.  You know how much time we spent on the tax question.

#2:  Yeah.  That’s a no-win scenario.

#1:  You would think.

#2:  But?

#1:  I so saw this playing out in my mind.  I would ask Jesus if it is legal to pay taxes to Caesar or not.  If he said no—and you know all the people wanted him to say no—then all we would have to do is inform the Romans and our problem would be gone.

#2 Right.  I hope that he says no.

#1:  He didn’t.

#2:  What do you mean that he didn’t?  We were not going to spring this on him until tomorrow.

#1:  Sorry, but he was a target of opportunity.  There were a bunch of Herodians hanging out along with a fair number of our fellow phylactery fellows, so I went for it.  If he said that you didn’t need to pay taxes to Caesar, then the Herodians would turn him in.  You know how they are in tight with the Romans.  We could just step back and let politics take its course.

#2:  So he said to pay taxes to Caesar?  Remember that works for us too.  He would be discredited among the people because Caesar declared himself to be a god.  If Jesus said to pay taxes to Caesar it the same as endorsing a false god.  We could nail him on first and second commandment violations.

#1:  No.  He didn’t say pay taxes to Caesar.

#2:  What then?  It was an either-or question, a simple dichotomy.  We framed it as a yes or no question.  You didn’t make it multiple choice, did you?

#1: No, but Jesus doesn’t always color within the lines.  In fact, every time we try to trick him or trap him he is always ten steps ahead of us.  It’s like he knows what we are thinking.

#2:  Only God knows what we are thinking.

#1:  Let’s not go there. 

#2:  Right.  Well, what did he say?

#1:  He said, and I quote: “Render unto Caesar that which is Caesar’s and unto God that which is God’s.”

#2:  And you let him off the hook with that answer?

#1:  The people loved it.  What could I do?

#2:  So why do you look like a mess?

#1:  It was how he did it,

#2:  How?  What do you mean?

#1:  First of all, he looked at all of us, including the Herodians, and said, again I quote: “You hypocrites, why do you keep trying to trick me?”

#2:  What did you say?

#1:  I didn’t get a chance to say anything.  The next thing you know, he is asking the crowd for a coin.  Someone coughs one up in an instant.

#2:  Why does Jesus need a coin?

#1:  Stay with me here.  He looks all around the crowd.  They are glued to his every word.  Then he says, “Whose image is on this coin?”

#2:  Well, that’s a no brainer.

#1:  Right.  Everyone cries out Caesar’s.

#2:  What else would they say, Susan B. Anthony?

#1:  Then Jesus tells everyone—but he is looking mostly at me.

#2:  And?

#1:  Give to Caesar the things that belong to Caesar and give to God the things that belong to God.

#2:  What did you do?

#1:  I high tailed it out of there.  I felt that I had been put through the wringer and everybody was doing all they could not to laugh in my face.  It was the worst moment of my life.

#2:  Cheer up.  We’ll get this guy.

#3:  Hey I know a guy who knows a guy…

#4:  Who is an expert in the law.  We will trap this Jesus yet.

#2:  OK, straighten up your phylactery and let’s go.

All depart the stage singing

We are Pharisees.  We wear our phylacteries.

We are Pharisees.  We got whupped by Jesus, you see.

We are Pharisees…

The end.