Grumpiest Old Men Stop Grumbling

Grumpiest Old Men

Philippians 2:14-16

Cast:  2 older men. These are longtime friends with much dryness to their banter.

Set:  Anywhere a bench or 2 chairs may be set as a park bench.  Action proceeds in dialogue.  Script or notes may be hidden in props (newspaper) if used.  One friend is already center stage with lights down.  The second friend enters as lights come up.

Lights up.

The first old man walks up to bench and sees friend already seated.

Putz

Bonehead

Cut me some slack

Why? What?

Then don’t.  Just be that way.

Man, you’ve got it bad this morning.

Tell me about it.

Since I don’t know what’s eating you, why don’t you tell me.

OK, if I have to.

Well, you don’t have to, but…

I knew it.  Not even my best buddy wants to hear what’s going on.

That’s not what I said.

Now you’re even kicking me to the curb.

What in tarnation are you talking about?

The preacher has us memorizing words out of the Bible.

You mean scripture?

Yeah.  That’s it.

Doesn’t sound that bad.

Well you’re not the one having to use the extra brain cells.

I can see how that might be challenging to you.

Now you’re picking on me.

I always pick on you and at you.  That’s what we do.

Whatever.

Why don’t you tell me what you are supposed to memorize?

Yeah, OK.  I’ve got it here somewhere.

Go ahead.

It’s Philippians 2:14.

What does Philippians 2:14 say?

[Mumbling]  Do everything without grumbling or arguing

What?  Stop mumbling.

So you want me to stop mumbling and God’s word says stop grumbling.  This is cutting into my persona.

Yeah, OK.  Say the verse again.

Do everything without grumbling or arguing.

Hey, I remember that verse.

Great, now I’m a dummy for not knowing it.

No, no, no.  It’s the start of a much larger thought.

There’s more?

Of course, there is more.  The Bible is more than just a bunch of one-liners.

So what’s the more?

Listen to this:  Do everything without grumbling or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, “children of God without fault in a warped and crooked generation.” Then you will shine among them like stars in the sky as you hold firmly to the word of life.

That’s pretty cool.  I wonder why we don’t memorize the whole thing?

Look how much you grumbled over a few words to memorize.

Point taken.  But if we aren’t arguing and complaining, what will we talk about?

That will cut into our lifestyle.

That’s for sure.

How about we talk about shining like stars in a world that’s a complete mess?

You and me shining like stars?

Yep!

I can dig it.  Let’s shine all day long, everywhere we go, with everyone we see…

Whoa.  Hold your horses, let’s not go overboard!

Quit grumbling about it.  Don’t you read your Bible?  No grumbling!

[Raising hands in surrender]  OK!  Let’s shine like stars.

Exit.

The end.